Wednesday, May 08, 2013

This Is Not a Giveaway Post

I didn't mean for this place to become a commercial spot. I had every intention of sitting down to write thoughtful, personal posts to go along with giveaways (another of which you'll see next week and then done for the time being). But life happens.

Travis and I flew to California on short notice last week to celebrate the life of my grandmother and join my family in grieving her passage into the next life. We know she is at peace and with my grandpa. The funeral Mass was moving and sad and also so comforting. I was never so grateful for the ritual of the Mass as I was in that moment, as it gave me something to focus on through my emotions. While we shed tears we also shared so much laughter and conversation and love--the true legacy left by my grandparents. While we have all grown up in different ways and have different viewpoints on lots of things, we all know how to love.

We were so blessed to have friends and family here step in and take our kids while we were gone. In just a week's time we were able to arrange for all six kids to be somewhere for the length of our travel, and we knew they were happy and having fun. Our community is our greatest treasure and it was made abundantly clear to us again this past weekend.

So, those thoughtful and personal posts? They're still brewing. I want to tell you about the real work and struggle of using NFP, for me, right now. I want to tell you about the awakening I am experiencing, as Ben has turned 3 (!!!) and those last vestiges of life with a baby slip away.  About the wandering and seeking and questioning about what it means to be where I'm at. It is hard to tell you those things when I'm still figuring them out, but I will try.

So I'll be here, eventually. But I'm also living life with my family and reading books again and realizing that there's only so much time and I must choose how I spend it more intentionally. The words are in my head, I just need to get them on the screen.

11 comments:

  1. thoughts of sympathy are with you and your family

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  3. haha, spammy Anonymous!

    I am sorry about your grandmother. And curious for you to write the things you have planned. But gosh, you're so right about limited time, and spending it intentionally. Blogging should be a low-pressure, do it when you feel like it activity. :)

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  4. First, my prayers on the passing of your grandmother. I lost mine too this year, and I know exactly what you mean about the comfort of the mass.

    Second, I am in the same place time-wise but I reeeeeeally want to hear about your NFP thoughts and life plans and no-more-baby thoughts. Because as strung out and tired as I am, and as much as I am not even contemplating pregnancy right now, I cannot say with certainty that I am done. I think about the kids and "being done" and the only thing that comes into my brain is "never say never." Is that God telling me something or am I just playing the percentages knowing my track record? I really don't know and it makes me crazy. What does that feel like to be sure, or at least to not feel called to more babies (not being snarky or anything, I really want to know). But you know, when you have time. ;-)

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  7. I'm so sorry about your Grandma's passing. Prayers for you and yours!

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