What I Wore Wednesday--Lots of Green

I haven't shared what I've been wearing in a few weeks, and the lack of vanity is going to make me explode. Or maybe my words are still stuck in my head and a picture post is easier. Anyway, here's what I've been wearing lately. You should visit The Pleated Poppy for much better pictures and tons of fashion inspiration from other bloggers joining the fun.

Green tee and white tank via Old Navy, jeggings from juniors department in Macy's (juniors department usually has better fit for my legs), sandals from Target. Standard silvery jewelry. I wore this tailgating. I added a bright pink hoodie for when the sun went down. It got cool watching my Mean Green come back and win. Oh, and I think I wore my Converse to the game. There was a time (six months ago) that I would only wear jeggings with boots and long shirts/sweaters. But I feel way more comfortable in them now and none of my other jeans fit anyway.

I wore this outfit to celebrate a friend's 40th birthday in downtown Fort Worth. I'm not going to lie--this is one of my favorites. I felt hot! Sweater and jeans from Old Navy. Shoes from Dillard's. Pink necklace from Allora Handmade.

This outfit was worn to the school's fall festival and then on a date with Travis to celebrate his birthday. White sweater from Old Navy, same jeggings as first picture, and scarf from Old Navy ages ago. Boots are B.O.C. from Macy's two years ago.

Rock Star super skinny jeans from Old Navy, as is the charcoal tee. I love these jeans, but I think it is dumb they are sized in such a way that I have to buy two sizes bigger than usual. Oh well. I wear my pink necklace at least once a week it seems. Gray Converse on my feet. I wore this to run errands and then go to our last baseball game of the season (hooray!).

Funny story about this outfit: I got dressed and ready to leave the house. I thought Travis was coming home for lunch and I was going to run a couple of quick errands by myself. But then he called and said he couldn't get away from work. And Ben was a mess. So I put Ben in bed and promptly returned to wearing lazy clothes. I got dressed again when it was time to pick kids up from school and ended up wearing this to soccer practice. Slightly overdressed for that.

Skirt: Nest on Main, via a Facebook deal that is still available ($16)! Chambray shirt and pink tank via Old Navy. Turquoise necklace from Allora Handmade. Gray converse--I'm thinking I need a new color to add to my shoe selection.

And this is what I wore to Mass this weekend. Gray dress and belt from Target. Boots from above. Burgundy tights. I feel like I need a bolder necklace, but I was wearing long, cascading earrings and thought that would be too busy. Still working on accessories.

So that's what I wore recently. Now that cooler temperatures are here I'll have a little more variety in my wardrobe, at least the first time through my clothes.

This Is Hard

I wrote a few weeks ago about how overwhelming our fall was looking. I was concerned about how I would fit in training for a half-marathon that will happen in December. Life has been busy. Thankfully, our fall sports schedule is winding down. After this week we will just have soccer for a couple more weeks, and then a break before basketball. I'm so relieved. We've had fun watching the kids play their various sports, but we are looking forward to slower evenings at home too.

But that's not really what I want to write about. I am going to talk about training and running. Because it is hard. A really glorious hard, sometimes, but hard nonetheless. It is hard physically. After a three mile run followed by sprints a couple of weeks ago I noticed I had a bloody shoe.

I'm pretty vain about my feet. I was afraid I had lost a toenail, which is somewhat common for distance runners. Happily, it was just a small blood blister. It didn't even hurt. And now when I look down at my shoe I see the lingering stain and I can tell myself that I didn't let a little blood stop me, so I'm not going to let tiredness or busyness or whatever else stop me.

Not too long after the bloody shoe I got a small injury. Maybe strained something in my neck during a conditioning class. Not debilitating, but definitely painful and affecting my ability to run well. And then my calf started acting up. And I was so frustrated. I just wanted to run. And I was afraid of getting off schedule with training for the race and not meeting my goals. I got a massage. I rested. I worked my way through the tightness in my calf. And last week I ran 9 miles at my best pace yet. And I felt amazing. But it was still hard.

I've made pretty significant changes to what I eat too. Trying to eat as "clean" as possible as much of the time as possible. This is very new to me. And very challenging. I've been lucky enough to be able to mostly eat what I want with little effect as long as I stay active. But a friend challenged me to more. And I'm stubborn so I don't often ignore a challenge. And the results have been astoundingly positive. I'm at my college weight, only this time it is not from a steady diet of chips and salsa and little else. But it is still hard. Some days I want the french fries and coke. I like dessert. I like eating a snack when the kids are in bed and I'm finally sitting in relative peace and quiet. So I'm trying to find ways to fill that craving with something other than food.

Running gives me a lot of time to think, when I'm not laughing at the absurd lyrics to some of the songs. I'm spending a lot of time thinking about where I'm at in life. For the first time in 11 years I'm not thinking about the baby that will be born any day and add to the joyful chaos of our home. I'm starting to think of myself beyond wife and mother. I know those are still my primary roles, but I know that they do not define me entirely. But I have no idea what else does. I can tell you about my hobbies and interests, but not my passions. I have a stock answer for what I would do if I wasn't home with kids (teach high school government, although I need further education and certification). But I don't even know if that is accurate anymore. I'm doing things I never imagined doing physically, so why not consider new things in other areas of my life?

But then I get scared. I don't like unknowns (does anyone?). I don't want to change so much that the people I love don't recognize me. And so then I think how easy it would be to just slip back into old habits and keep things more or less the same. Let myself be consumed by the minutiae of daily life. Stop wondering what else I might be called to and tell myself that the here and now is more than enough to keep me busy and challenged and growing. But I know that's not true and that's not what I want. But all this self-reflection also feels absurdly selfish and indulgent.

So, this is hard. 'This' could be running one day, eating well another, and then not getting wrapped up in a struggle between my vocation as wife and mother and my desire to identify who I am outside of that. Or it could be all of it at once. I think signing up for this race at this time was a stroke of providence. The time to think while running is doing me a lot of good, even if I'm afraid of where it might lead. Most hard things eventually lead to greater good than we can imagine. So I'll cling to that when I feel like quitting.

Birthday Season

It has been a while, I know. As if I fell off the face of the earth. I'm still here, just busy with the daily chaos that is our life. We just finished our run of four birthdays in a month. I'm hoping this means things will slow down, although that seems unlikely, since we don't do parties for the birthdays anyway, so I can't really blame them for the busyness.

Timmy turned 7. He requested a Steelers cake. Somehow I managed to copy the logo fairly well.

Next on the birthday calendar was Caleb. In his usual, unique way he wanted a cake like no other.

As the mom, I merely do my best to carry out the request. I don't try to understand the inner workings of the 9 year old boy brain.

After Caleb, we had Taylor celebrating a birthday. She's 11 y'all! So grownup in so many ways. I plan to write more about this soon. No cake for her, she requested frozen yogurt instead. We were happy to oblige.

And finally, yesterday, Madeleine turned 10. Our family tradition for girls is to get ears pierced when they hit double digits. I think it stung a little, but Madeleine is tough and her eyes only got a little red. She had a good birthday, despite sick siblings and a tired mom.

So one bit of chaos has been managed and put behind us. Our kids are older and more awesome than before.

What I Wore Wednesday

Good Wednesday morning! I'm going to share a handful of outfits from the last couple of weeks. Although I did get a full-length mirror, and I do have my regular camera back in my possession, I'm still relying on phone pictures. It is just quick and easy. If you follow me on Instragram (@asmanyasgiven) then you have already seen these outfits. My apologies for boring you to death with repeats.

I wasn't kidding when I said I am loving Old Navy. Skirt, tank, tee all from there. Bauble necklace from GroopDealz. I wore this to run errands. Not pictured: metallic sandals I've worn all summer.

This was my outfit for church on Sunday. It felt a bit fall-ish in the morning. Jeggings from Macy's, boots from Macy's, tee from Old Navy, scarf from I have no idea, I've had it a couple of years. I would have never worn a tee shirt with jeggings two years ago,but I feel a lot better about how I look these days and don't mind a shorter top with fitted jeans.

All from Old Navy. I suppose I wore this to run errands, and maybe to various sports activities. I don't live a very glamorous life, y'all.

 This was my last day of "camp" outfit. I was at Sky Ranch with Taylor. RockStar fit capris from Old Navy, tee shirt from Round Rock Express fan shop (minor league affiliate of my Rangers). That water bottle was my best friend at camp, as I relied on protein water for meal replacements more than once.

Sunday school and Mass two weeks ago. Shirt from Target a few years ago and jeans from Target last year. Favorite black heels. I love this shirt, so forgiving as I've gained and lost weight over the last three years.

This was my date night outfit Friday. We joined friends to celebrate a birthday. Shirt from Macy's last year, skirt from Target this past spring, shoes from Dillard's for my birthday. I love the shoes and am always looking for excuses to wear them.

So that's what I wore the last couple of weeks that I felt like sharing. I love looking at what other women are wearing--gives me ideas to change things up for myself. Visit The Pleated Poppy for more outfit inspiration.

Just Write: And I Ran

Saturday was a rainy, gray day. Blessed rain. Instead of splitting the family up to go to two baseball games and a volleyball game and a soccer game, we all got to go to just the indoor volleyball game. A packed morning had been transformed into a slow and easy one. We went to lunch after volleyball.

We came home, we settled the younger ones down for naps. I rested for a little bit, but not nearly enough, I realized, as the whining mounted (the kids, not me, most of the time) and my nerves felt frayed and all the peace of the day was lost. I was edgy.

I planned to run six miles on Sunday, before we went to church for Sunday school and Mass. It was pouring rain on Saturday. Who runs in the rain on purpose? But I was tense and short and overwhelmed and something had to give.

Just go run, Travis said.

So I did. In the pouring rain.

Perhaps the people driving by thought I was crazy. Maybe the dog-walkers with their umbrellas shook their heads in bemusement as I splashed by.

I didn't take my headphones, just turned on the music and listened to the rain at the same time, hearing just enough music to keep me going, but enjoying the sound of restoring water poured upon the ground.

I set out with no definite distance in mind. I didn't know how I would react to the wet conditions. I got through four miles in 40 minutes and knew I had to go all six, as I wouldn't have the legs to run that distance the next day. So I ran six miles in 61 minutes.

I realized on that run, that I've finally reached that magical place where I actually like running while I'm doing it. Even when I trained for and ran a half-marathon after having Lily, I never really loved the running itself. I loved how it shaped my body and I loved how I felt when done, but every step was a challenge. Now, on most runs, I glory in the effort itself. My mind does break free of the daily minutiae of life. (There are still days where I feel like cursing through every mile, but I still get it done.)

I returned from my run soaked head to toe, but grinning from the inside out. I ran off all my frustration and impatience. I found my peace in the pouring rain.

Linking up with The Extraordinary Ordinary for Just Write.