Two Faces

Summer is here and she is a two-faced entity.

One face is all fun and happiness and spontaneity. Yes, let's go to the pool! Yes, I will get slushes for everyone (only during Happy Hour of course. You Sonic fans know what I'm talking about.). Yes, you can pile all the pillows and blankets up in the living room and jump off the couch onto the pile. Yes,we will stay up late and watch Harry Potter and eat Nutella and pretzels and M&Ms.

Her other face is grumpy and sullen. No, you may not run around yelling at the top of your lungs. No, we're not painting--too messy. No, I don't want to see if the neighbor boy can come over. Can't you see I'm tired and grouchy? Be quiet, her grumpy face says. Be still, her sullen scowl demands.

Obviously it is not summer, but the mother, that has the two faces.

We are having a summer much like everyone's, I think. Some days are really great and fun. I'm feeling energetic and cheerful and up to doing the simple, fun things my kids want to do. Other days I can't be bothered, feeling worn down before I even get out of bed. I'm trying to find my way to more great days. It is better for all of us.

Happily, my kids like to go to the gym. I need to go to get some time to myself and to work out some of the unnecessary stress. They get to play with other kids. Win all around.

We've already had a little round of sickness, happily just one child. Lily had a cold, which led to some long nights for me, but nothing major. We go on a little family vacation in two weeks. We're trying not to melt in this stretch of 100+ degree days. I have got to let the kids run a little wild in the house, as it is unhealthy to let them out in the heat.

We're finding our groove. Trying to keep the happy face to the front.

How's your summer?

Summer

This is a happy face, promise. I got a new camera and I'm still learning. This photo is unedited, other than a crop. I just got lucky on it, but I'm pretty proud of it too.

Being Here

What does a blogger write about after a two-week hiatus? I don't know. No interesting reason for my absence, but I'm back for today at least.

I have a lot of room for improvement in my vocation as wife and mother. I still dislike housework and it shows. I'm generally inclined to laziness and selfish pursuits. Every day I have to fight my will to be the person my family wants and needs and deserves.

It would be easy to take these general inclinations and really get down on myself. Sometimes I do. Other times it is just as easy to rationalize away many of my less-than-stellar habits and say I'm doing okay. That's not really any healthier than self-flagellation. 

Anyway.

I do get some things right. And yesterday, as I lay on the couch (I have no idea if I should say "lay" or "laid" or "was lying" there) wishing I had actually slept while my little ones did, Lily (4 years old) came out from my room, where she was napping, and looked not quite ready to be awake. So she came over to me and snuggled up under the blanket and slowly woke up. And in that moment, I felt like I was doing okay. Because I hope that when my kids look back on growing  up, they'll see that I was there. Maybe not always happily or with patience, but there to help them wake up slowly. There to snuggle when snuggling was needed.

Ultimately, I think that that is what all of us want as parents. We know we have our faults and we know there are things we can do better. But we also know we are there when our kids need us (and I  mean all parents, not just those of us choose to and are able to stay home), in the big things, but in the small things too.

I have long way to go in my role as mother, but if I'm there, that's a good start.




Just Write with Heather of the EO