Thursday, November 08, 2012

Still Talking about Running?

Am I still talking about running?

Yes, yes I am.

I'm running a lot. So I think about running a lot. When I'm not running, I'm trying to take care of my family and eat well and see my friends and carry on with life. When I am running, I think about all of those things and a million other things too. But I think about running the most. Which is kind of silly, because the whole idea is that running should be my time to let it all go. Sometimes I do and it is really refreshing.

Today, though, as I ran my four miles, I was mostly thinking about running. It was a weird run today. While I felt strong and able to get the distance done, I was also struggling. I finished two miles and wanted to quit. I didn't quit, because I would have been way too disappointed in myself, but I wanted to. I was thinking too much about running ten miles tomorrow. I was worrying about my pace too much. I was just thinking too much, period.

I'm going through a small crisis of confidence. The race is a month away. My training has been so smooth, with minimal pain and setbacks. I've been hitting my goal pace for a while, so there is a chance I'll be able to go even faster. But there is a part of me that is afraid I'm hitting everything just right now and will fall apart by race time.

This is totally normal, I think. Running distance is such a mental challenge, for me. Yes, there is a physical challenge, but that is not the part that is hard for me, relatively speaking. The mental commitment to doing this is hard to sustain. Keeping a positive attitude about putting in the miles and finding time to do it and sticking with all the other aspects of training can wear me down. I'm so glad we are at least done with fall sports and I can relax in the evenings.

I have three long runs left, before the race. I love the feeling I have when I am done with a long run--powerful, peaceful, proud. I try to hang on to that feeling when I'm having a hard, short run. I try to tell myself that the achievement is in the effort, not the result.

Mostly I try to stop thinking so much.



6 comments:

  1. You are my total exercise/running hero, no lie. Think about that the next time you run. ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Grace Miller12:10 PM

    The mental part is the part part for me, too. And I live for that feeling after a long, successful run. I can do anything in that moment.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's time to shut that brain of yours....OFF. You are doing fantastic. Whenever I think I might have a bad run or even when I am determined to have a good run, I start pumping myself up WAY before the actual run- telling myself how awesome it will be and to just enjoy the moment. It works quite often- the mind is a powerful thing. Even when you don't feel strong or maybe you are struggling- don't give in to the naysayer on your left shoulder. Instead, shove that aside and say *I think I can.... I know I can*.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh look at you, getting ready for a big race!

    I'm so in awe of, and inspired by, you!

    I get the mental game. I really do. How desperately we need to clear our minds, swim in our confidence. But how hard these two needs can be!

    I'm sending good thoughts your way, and I absolutely can't wait to read all about how it goes!

    {Cheering you on from here!}

    ReplyDelete
  5. It is most definitely a mental battle. I think that is why I can't do long distances. I just don't have the mental stamina, lol. I am SO proud of you. You are a rockstar in my book.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think a higher percentage of it is mental that physical, actually. You have to convince yourself that you can do it. At least for me!

    You are almost there, so excited for you!!

    ReplyDelete

I'm dying to know what you have to say, so talk already! Thanks!