Not That You Asked

Hello readers! It is Monday and I am feeling like I should be posting something, but all I really have to say is random tidbits. It would make a great Quick Takes, but this isn't Friday. Boo. So even though this will be one of those posts that is just stray bits of information that Husband says is boring, I'm going to write it anyway. Take that, Husband. (Kidding of course)

Firstly, Monster is in one of his spells of respiratory distress. That is what I have taken to calling it, because he has not been diagnosed with full blown asthma and we don't need daily maintenance inhalers, but we do keep a nebulizer with Albuterol on hand at all times. I knew it was coming, as he started sneezing and coughing a bit yesterday. He slept well through the night, thankfully, and is quite happy and playful today. He just sounds like he could lose a lung at any moment. When he is in one of these episodes I choose to stay home from most activities. Even though I know he is not contagious at all, I feel like other parents would be grossed out and/or worried if they only saw/heard him coughing, with no explanation from me. So it is easier to chill at home.

Secondly, unless things change radically in the next year, our vacation next summer will be limited to destinations within 1.5 hours from our house. That appears to be all the car time Butterfly can handle before serenading us with ear-piercing screams. I think my ears were bleeding by the time we returned home yesterday from a visit to my hometown. Or maybe she'll get more relaxed as she gets older and we can try to go somewhere that is two hours away. A girl can dream.

Thirdly, Target continues to taunt me with their absurdly cute baby girl clothes and constantly updated selection. I went there for some alone time last week and it took every single ounce of will power I have ever had in my life to not buy everything in sight. I also resisted temptation at Old Navy. I think I just need to stay home. That way Butterfly can wear the same outfit every day and I don't have to worry about hurting myself running away from the cuteness in the stores.

Finally, I had to make a difficult decision last week. I was asked to join a retreat team after someone else had to leave the team. I've participated in these retreats several times, and it has been over two years since I was on a team, and I love the women on this particular team. I thought about it overnight, but I knew almost right away that I would have to say no to the offer. While I know the retreat will be wonderful and that I would gain many great things from serving on team, I also know we are at the tipping point in terms of outside commitments. The only reason we said yes to the things we are doing is because they can all be done as a couple or as a family. That didn't fit with the retreat team, so I had to decline. I've thought about it all weekend and I know it will be hard the weekend of the retreat to not think about what is happening, but it is the right decision for my family. And maybe that shows that I've made a little more progress than I think in combating my selfishness.

Okay, sorry for random and stray thoughts. I'm working on some post ideas in my head. I just have to get them from thoughts to actual posts. Thanks for sticking around.

18 Months!

From this:




To this:



Butterfly is 18 months old! I can hardly believe it. There are days when it seems she has always been here, and then there are days where I still can't believe she is part of our family. Butterfly has broken the mold when it comes to our expectations with our kids. I think she is more typical in behavior than our other kids were at this age. While she is funny and sweet and unbearably cute, she is also challenging and stubborn and intense. I pray that her fierce independence is what will lead her to make her own decisions and not follow the crowd when the crowd is going in the wrong direction. I love that she has shown my older children what it means to be a big brother and big sister in a way they were too young to experience when Monster was born. I love to watch her learn and discover the world. I'm happy that she is learning words to go with her needs, so that we can all get along better. Most of all, I'm consumed with gratitude that she came into our lives so unexpectedly yet so obviously right when our family was ready for her.

How I Spent My 30th Birthday

Yesterday was the first day of school. I was going to post then, but Blogger hates me and my pictures.

So, on my 30th birthday I sent three kids to school! For the first time in four years, I only have two kids in the house all day long. I feel free! I feel like I can leave the house for a quick errand without having to summon the energy of the gods. Of course, the two kids still at home need help unbuckling and getting out of the car, but still, it is only two of them! Things are quiet around here. Monster has always been comfortable doing his own thing, playing by himself, so he doesn't seem too thrown off by this new routine. We'll see if that continues.

Buddy started Kindergarten. Of course he thinks he knows everything about everything at school, but I'm sure he'll be put in his place if needed. He came home with most of his sandwich--no time to eat when there are friends to be made and playgrounds to enjoy. He didn't stop talking from the moment I picked him up until he went to bed!

The girls were both happy with their teachers. They each have a couple of friends from last year in their classes this year, so they are glad about that. Princess already had homework, and several tasks at that. Juggling homework and sports and dinner and life in general will be very interesting this year.

Husband almost forgot it was my birthday, but he gets a pass because we had already celebrated with my party and our getaway. We had lunch (with just two kids!) at a yummy Mexican place. It was good.

On my 30th birthday I reveled in the blessings that have come my way and the blessings I know are still to come.

Not Really Worth a Third Post

Hello! Happy Monday!

Tomorrow is the first day of school around here, and Buddy will be starting kindergarten. So of course tomorrow's post will be the obligatory first day of school pictures.

So today I'm wrapping up our trip to Austin. I have no idea why it has taken me three posts to share this trip with y'all. I mean, we had a good time and enjoyed ourselves, but it wasn't really the kind of trip you think will provide material for more than one post. And you're probably thinking it was not that kind of trip and wondering why I am still talking about it. And I'll tell you the truth--I have no idea why, but I must finish what I started.

So we went to bed late Tuesday night after a fun night out with friends. A word of caution though, if you are in Austin: don't make any illegal left turns. Our friends were pulled over twice! Warnings both times, thank goodness, and innocent mistakes on their parts, but still crazy. Maybe we're bad luck.

Wednesday morning we sort of slept in. We're parents, so there is an internal clock that wakes us up whether we want to or not. But we had a slow morning, moving at our own pace. Husband had to do some work again while I cleaned up and started packing. I perused the guidebook provided by the hotel, looking for things to do.

I love to shop. Even just window shop. Husband does not. However, he gamely agreed to check out a little shopping area with me (with the potential to eat Mexican food for lunch, I never get tired of it). We browsed, almost bought a couple of Christmas gifts, and then left. We headed to the Drag on Guadalupe, near UT. The dorms were open last week, so there was plenty of foot traffic. It is fun to be near a college campus when school is gearing up.

Of course there is food talk still to be had. We walked along until we came to Kerbey Lane Cafe. Friends had mentioned this place for breakfast, but we were well past breakfast time. But it smelled good, even from outside, so we decided to go in. I'm so glad we did, because our food was delicious! It wasn't fancy food, but it was good. Fresh-cut french fries that were cooked just right. I had a turkey avocado sandwich with a delicious chipotle mayo that I am still thinking about today. I love a good sandwich with a little kick to it. After eating we decided it was time to head home. But we made one last stop at Hey Cupcake, a cupcake stand on Congress. I love cupcakes. Maybe a little too much. I had a carrot cake one with cream cheese frosting and it was amazing. But huge. Which means I didn't eat the other one I ordered, a yellow cake with chocolate frosting. Oh well.

We headed home after that. We had to stop off in Round Rock at Starbucks for Husband to squeeze in a little more work. I drove home because he was too tired. I wasn't ready to go home, really, but once we were on the road I couldn't wait to see the kids. Once you know you are on the way to see them, you can't get there fast enough. Of course they were giant and different after only two days too.

So, in conclusion, we went to Austin to eat, watch movies, and sleep. And it was glorious. I definitely want to go back, because already we've been told about places we must eat at next time. And I like my husband, and I like spending time with him with no other people needing my attention. We didn't have any deep, meaningful discussions about life and where we're headed, but we didn't need those. We just needed to time to be Husband and Wife and nothing else. And I'm already plotting when we will get to do it again.

I Wanted to Steal the Mirrors

If you made it through yesterday's eternal post on Day One of our getaway, I applaud you. It even put me to sleep. I would like to promise brevity and wit today, but y'all have been reading long enough to know that would just be me blowing smoke.

So I left you with us going to bed absurdly early and waking up stiff-necked. We slept in a bit and just kind of had a leisurely morning in our hotel room. Well, leisurely until Husband decided he was starving and we needed breakfast five minutes ago. So I got out of bed and got cleaned up. And let me just tell you, those Hilton mirrors are something else. I think I looked at myself more in our two days in the hotel than I normally do in a week. I don't know if it was the lighting or the angle of the mirror, but I was looking good. A nice healthy glow and skinnier than I've felt in ages. So the Hilton at least got that right. Hot showers, on the other hand, merely a myth. Unless you ran the water for half an hour before you got in, apparently.

We headed to the Magnolia Cafe for breakfast. Eventually. I knew it was on Congress and just kind of assumed it was near the downtown area, since so many people told us to check it out. But we were also told we should drive, not walk, so we did. And then we parked in a pay lot that cost seven bucks, even though we could see our hotel from where we parked. Yes, we were clearly tourists. Turns out the Magnolia is on South Congress, not anywhere near downtown, so we left the parking lot and headed in the right direction. This place was featured on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives, which is Husband's favorite show. And as I said, several people told us to check it out. We were thinking we would be getting classic diner breakfast, but that was not the case. The offerings were more egg and pastry based, for the most part, but that was fine. I had yummy french toast and fruit and Husband had a bacon and cheese omelet with home fries, which were delicious. The atmosphere was cool and we definitely felt we were sitting in a classic Austin eatery.

We've only eaten breakfast and here we are in the fourth paragraph. Who knew I could be so verbose?

After breakfast, Husband had to do some work. Boo. But someone's gotta pay the bills, and it clearly isn't me. He took his laptop downstairs to use the free Wi-Fi (it was $13.95 a day in the room) while I lounged in the room reading a book. Unlike my friend Jay, I don't get the skeevies using hotel linens. I realize they are not the cleanest things on the planet, but we are surrounded by germs and I'm doing pretty okay. Anyway, I read my book while Husband worked. He also checked out a movie time for the Time Traveler's Wife. By the time he was back in the room it was after 11:00, but our movie didn't start until 2:20. We had a late breakfast, so we decided to just chill in our room. We watched the Express on HBO. Great movie, if you're sports nerds like us. We decided to walk a bit to find lunch. Tacos at the Taco Shack were perfect. We saw the movie (good, not great, but definitely worth seeing) and returned to our room. First we gave the health club and pool a quick glance (nice, lots of machines, didn't use them) before heading back. We had tentative plans to meet up with friends for dinner, so we had some time to kill. So of course we watched another movie on HBO. I just love being a super-cold hotel room snuggled under the crisp, cool sheets, with no one asking for food or entertainment or help in the bathroom.

Our friends called and picked us up a little after 7:00. They are both post-grad students who live cool, urban lifestyles completely different from ours. But we have fun together. They decided to take us to the Oasis, an Austin landmark. The huge restaurant sits over Lake Travis and has lots of patio seating. We got there just after sunset, but the view was still gorgeous (although the lake is very low, they are in a severe drought). We immediately set to eating chips and salsa while waiting for our beverages. My margarita was delicious and so was the salsa. I love me some chips and salsa so much that it has been a meal more than once in my life. This salsa was perfect. Cold, spicy but not overwhelming, and it tasted fresh. For all I know it came from a jar, but it was good. After dinner (grilled chicken wrap that was huge, but also very good) we finished up our drinks and then took the one picture of the whole trip. No, I'm not kidding. I took our camera, and I told Husband on the way to Austin that we were taking lots of pictures, dangit, but then we didn't take any. Well, one.
After dinner we headed back to downtown, hung out on West Sixth (the less college-y bar scene), had a beer at Little Woodrow's, watched the Rangers lose (boo) and then went home. Because we are old. Actually, it was midnight by then and were dangerously close to pumpkin time. One note on the bar--no Zeigenbock! That is my favorite beer, and a Texas staple in my opinion, and this bar, with its more than 100 brews, did not have it! For shame! They even had a Zeigenbock sign and a special Texas Beer Mondays promotion. I was disappointed, but drank a Shiner anyway.

And I have now exhausted myself and can't believe I still have a day to go. Imagine what I would write if we had gone to some exotic location or something. More food talk to come on Monday. Happy weekend!

Next Time I'm Bringing Pillows

Despite many obstacles and setbacks, Husband and I did make it out of town for a couple of days of together time this week. Husband had arranged babysitting for the kids and chosen Austin as our destination. It was up to me to secure accommodations and make any further plans.

What were those obstacles and/or setbacks? First, Husband absolutely had to get some work done on Monday morning before heading out of town. One of the great things about his job is that he sets his own hours, more or less. He puts as much time into work as he wants or needs to, with no one telling him to punch a clock. That also means he is responsible for his income, and has to put in as much work as needed to pay the bills. So I knew we would not be leaving till lunch time at the earliest anyway. But that was just the expected obstacle.

The unexpected woke me up at 3:30 Monday morning. Buddy had thrown up. Why does it always happen at night? He very calmly informed me of his issue, I stripped his bed, set up a blanket zone in the living room, and settled on the couch. After an hour and a half of getting up to try to puke with varying degrees of success (is it success if it happens?), Buddy was finally settled. He very admirably made it to the toilet each and every time. By actual morning, he was feeling better, if a little wiped out. We talked to the Fabulous Aunt N and Uncle M (aka the Awesomes from now on), who were going to babysit, and they said to still bring the kids over. So I spent the morning packing and asking the kids every five minutes if they felt like they were going to throw up. I'm sure they were wishing we would leave already. By the time we headed out the door, IndieGirl was feeling funny. We gave her a bowl and a towel and headed on to Arlington. We made it about ten minutes before she puked. Thank God for that big pink bowl. We called the Awesomes again, and they said we could still come.

At this point, you might think we are terrible people for saddling our relatives with five potentially sick kids. But here's the deal: this was going to be the first time in nearly five years that we would have more than 18-24 hours to ourselves, and there was no foreseeable time when we would be able to reschedule, based on various conflicts. Also, I know my kids, and I know that once the puke is out, they are usually fine. Additionally, they all cried at the prospect of missing out on time with the Awesomes. If the Awesomes were okay with us leaving, we were going to go ahead with our trip. I was honestly more worried about imposing on them than leaving my kids feeling a little less than stellar.

This post is eternal. Looks like I'll have to break it up into two parts. I'll keep going for now and finish out the first day at least.

We finally hit the road to Austin about 3:30 or so. We were tired. We were feeling a little funny ourselves. Still, we felt excited about the time stretching in front of us. We arrived in Austin around 7:00 and checked in to the hotel. We were staying at the Austin Hilton. I used Hotwire for the first time to make our reservations. The prices were definitely the best, but there were some drawbacks to using the service. You don't know what hotel you are getting until you confirm the reservation; just a price point, location, and amenities. They do list what kinds of hotels are included in their ratings, so you have an idea. Also, you don't know about additional charges like parking, internet use, etc. until after the fact. Still, the price was great and the location was perfect. We could walk to most of the downtown attractions/areas easily.

One of the only things we definitely wanted to do while in Austin was eat at Stubb's. We've been buying Stubb's marinade for years, and couldn't wait to try the food at the actual location. Unfortunately, there was no live music that night, and I wasn't feeling great. I ordered a chopped beef sandwich with sides, but couldn't even finish half of the sandwich. What I did eat was delicious, and Husband loved the ribs and brisket. I definitely want to go back.

After dinner, we decided to stroll down 6th Street. The last time I was down there I was in high school, so I couldn't go in most places and I obviously couldn't enjoy a cold drink. We hoped to find a cool bar with a live blues band, and got lucky right away. We could hear a band from the street and there was no cover to get in, so we decided to go in and listen for awhile. They were awesome! I didn't find out the name of the group, but we enjoyed it very much. I stuck to water while there, as I was still feeling a little unsettled. After that we walked around a bit more, checked on the Rangers (win!), and then went into Pete's Dueling Piano Bar. The guys playing were very good and lots of fun. I think I would like to go back with a bigger, rowdier crowd. It was Monday night after all. I was finally able to enjoy a glass of wine too. We headed back to the hotel around 10:30, since we're such party animals.

The thing I love about hotels is how cold the room can be, and you don't have to worry about the electric bill. And the absolute darkness. What I didn't love about this particular hotel (and it seems true of many of the nicer hotels we have stayed at) was the pillows. They were soft, feather pillows. Husband and I are both fans of the firm pillow. I ended up using three pillows to achieve a tolerable comfort level. Husband apparently tossed and turned, because by the morning he couldn't turn his head, his neck hurt so much. He had to turn his whole body to talk to me or look to the side! Anyway, our first night in Austin was done and we still had another night to go! Yea!

I'll post more tomorrow, because by now you must be bored out of your mind and wondering why you even stopped here. More links, more food talk, and a picture (!) tomorrow.

What This World Needs

The internet is a vast medium, with all kinds of good, bad, and in-between places to visit. Spend too much time surfing the web and you might begin to feel discouraged.

Or maybe you'll stumble across places like Operation Beautiful and Gives Me Hope. If you do, you might find yourself spending untold amounts of time being encouraged by the world around you. You might be inspired to do something today to give someone hope or to tell a person in your life that they are beautiful.

A person close to our family has recently revealed a history of self-injury. Through God's grace and strength and her desire to get help, she is on the road to recovery. Reading her story opened my eyes and brought a new awareness to me. What have I done to encourage the girls in my life? Have I let them know that they are beautiful? That they have worth, not because of how they look or what they are good at, but because of who they are? Have I told them that they are loved, not just by me, but by the Author of history?

I'm blessed. While I have had my moments of doubt and insecurity like any human being, I have lived a life secure in who I am and in the love of others. I've never flirted with the idea of hurting myself. I've never looked at my life and thought it not worth living. But I am increasingly aware that I am the exception, rather than the rule. I am increasingly aware that there are far too many voices out there tearing people down, seeking to destroy all the good that God has created. Will my voice be one of hope? Will I take the blessings I've been given and pray and learn how to share them with those who need it most?

Take a few minutes today to visit those sites and be inspired. Then come back and tell me what you are doing to foster hope.

This Way I Don't Have to Write Thank You Notes

This past weekend was a good one. One that will live in my memory for a long time, I hope. We celebrated my 30th birthday this past weekend, a few weeks early so that my brother could be in town for the big party.

Some awesome friends of ours hosted the party. We have only really gotten to know them in the last six months or so, but we have a lot in common. When I was trying to plan a party I was really challenged to come up with something that would be fun for my friends without costing too much money. These friends of ours have the perfect party house, with sand volleyball, swimming, cornhole (not as dirty as it sounds), karaoke, foosball, and so on. So I was totally forward and asked if I could invite a lot of people they may not know to come to their house. And they said yes because that is the kind of friends they are.

My friends arrived and we got the party started. A margarita machine was pumping and the hot dogs and nachos were ready. We ate, we drank, we laughed. The hostess had a fun game of "Who Knows Nicole?" that gave the crowd a little insight into me. Or some silly, random information, whatever.

After a few margaritas (and some water, I have a perfect system of one alcoholic beverage followed by one bottle of water that leaves me pleasantly relaxed but also in control of my faculties and feeling good the next day), I was somehow convinced to play volleyball. Y'all, I haven't played volleyball in fifteen years, at least. Turns out I have a mean serve and not much else to go on. In fact, you may have heard me saying "Oh Good Lord someone else hit it" when the ball came my way. But you'll have to verify that with other sources. Anyway, I am sure I burned more calories laughing than I would have burned actually playing anyway.

I spent the rest of the night visiting my friends and opening gifts and just soaking up the love. I've been the recipient of more blessings in my first thirty years than any woman has any hope to expect. I am surrounded by love and friendship and family and God's provision and I don't have words to express my gratitude.

So, Grace, there you have it. Maybe some pictures will find their way to my screen in the next week.

P.S. I was totally kidding about not writing thank you notes. My mama taught me better than that.

Quick Takes

1. Apparently this is an off week for me and exercise. I went to the gym twice on Monday, but that is the last time I darkened the door of the establishment. I could be there right now, running, but instead I am here, typing. Not exactly raising the heart rate. I think I'm just going to call this week done and start again next week.

2. Go here and win some adorable jeans from Eden's Bouquet. I'm too lazy to lift a picture and post it here, but trust me when I say you want these ruffle jeans for a little girl in your life. Sandy has great giveaways on a regular basis, so you would be wise to follow her blog.

3. Tomorrow is my party! Yippee! I'm pleasantly surprised by how many people are coming. In fact, I'm a little worried about having enough food. Instead of making my own cupcakes and decorating them, I opted to buy some cupcakes from a local bakery. The last time I ordered a cake from this place was my wedding, so this is a big treat. I couldn't afford to have them decorated, so they will just have buttercream frosting with sprinkles, which is the standard cupcake price. So worth it to not have to spend the day of my party making cupcakes. I'll be sure to post pictures next week.

4. I'm embarrassed to admit how frustrated I was yesterday when Twitter was down. Perhaps there is a lesson there for me.

5. Speaking of lessons, Husband and I are about to start some. We are facilitating a group that is doing the Splendor of Love study from Familia. I went through the four year women's study a few years ago. It was truly life-changing for me. It gave me the strength and encouragement I needed to embrace my family life. I'm excited about this new study because it is something Husband and I can do together, and I think it will be very helpful for us and our struggle with NFP.

6. I might be even more quiet than usual next week. Our kids' behavior has once again gone off track. I'm fairly certain it is because they need more from me and Husband, but especially me. They need their Mommy and I've been too unavailable to them. I want our home to be a happy and peaceful home, and that is not what it is right now. I'll probably stop in to say hi here and there, but I'm really going to try to stay away from the computer for most of the week.

7. Husband told me my birthday gift from him. He wanted to surprise me, but needed my input on scheduling. We're going to Austin! For two nights! He even arranged the childcare. I think he was feeling pretty bad about the whole California sadness, and heroically came up with something in its place. And actually, this will be better because we will be together. We haven't gone somewhere for two nights with no kids since Buddy was a baby, so five years ago, I think. We have big plans to eat at Stubb's and see the Time Traveler's Wife. Beyond that we will just see what we want to do when we get there. I'm so excited.

Happy Friday!

Visit Conversion Diary for more quick takes.

Hypothetically Speaking

Scene: Large chain grocery store, late at night

Enter weary, frazzled woman pushing full cart.

Woman: (all internal dialogue) I'm so tired my eyelids hurt. I can't wait to get home. But I had to come and take advantage of these specials. And shopping late at night by myself is better than being tired and dragging five kids along for the trip.

What? Self check only? Do they really think I want to check myself out at 10:30 at night? When obviously I am not functioning at 100%?

Oh well, at least I have no produce.

Oh great, there's a whopping total of three bags. No way that will hold all my stuff. Oh well, let's get started.

Okay, kind of nice to hear the electronic voice say "Free" on these chips. Makes me feel all thrifty.

All right, move the bag over here, bonus, there's an extra bag I didn't see. Let's start scanning the cereal. Let's see, twelve boxes of cereal, no bags to put them in, this oughta be fun. Skip bagging, skip bagging, blah, blah, blah.

All right, everything is scanned. Now for coupons. First one is good. Oh wait, the machine doesn't realize I put it in the little slot. Here comes the one employee who can help. All right, now for my chicken coupon. Of course I need cashier assistance. It is 10:45 at night, I need assistance to do everything at this point. See, if I could have just gone through a line with a cashier I would already be done, since self-check was no faster.

Finally done. Now I have to haul all this stuff to my car. And then in the house. Why did I come to the store so late again?

Oh yeah, so I could come by myself. That whole idea is overrated.

Woman walks to her car and unloads groceries. Returns the buggy to the store and then finally gets in the car and leaves.

So Not Ready for This

God is getting ready to kick my butt, I think.

Husband and I have been part of a couples group meeting approximately once a month or so with a Jesuit priest. Up to this point, we have done a lot of talking about what marriage is, some of the common issues in marriage, and so on. We've been meeting for over a year, but with some breaks. Fr. Ron has decided it is time to go deeper. He says he has seen some growth in us, but that the time has come to really get serious about where we are going.

So what are we going to do?

Some variation on the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. The first part of this is going to be at least fifteen minutes in prayer every single day. Even this most basic of exercises will be hard for me. While I know I need it, I am way too lax in my personal prayer life. I think part of the reason for this is because I'm scared. I don't want to confront my weaknesses. I don't want to hear what God wants out of me, because I am selfish. I've been struggling with some of the same selfish junk for years, but somehow getting by without really addressing it. So I'm pretty sure I will be dealing with that.

I'm also not entirely comfortable going public with this (meaning discussing in the group). We are a relatively small group and it is people I have known for several years now. I know that every single person is not perfect, that we all have issues. I know that my struggles will be respected and kept confidential. But I'm still nervous about it. Despite the fact that I have a blog and I share a little bit about my spiritual life, I keep a lot of it to myself. I'm not very good at sharing (just ask Husband).

But I'm also excited. And I have good reason to feel that way.

"When you call me, when you go to pray for me, I will listen to you. When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, when you seek me with all your heart, you will find me with you, says the Lord, and I will change your lot . . ." Jeremiah 29: 12-14