I really did intend to post on Friday, but life got in the way. Husband was out of town all weekend and I decided the least I could do to make his life better was clean the house so he has a place of refuge.
So after this Wednesday, Husband will be home until he finds a job. We are obviously worried about what is going to happen, but at the same time, I don't feel the panic I felt when we first found out about this. God has been with us every day of our marriage, and He has a plan for us. Of course we would not choose this path, but we will go forward with trust.
I have all these different thoughts swirling in my head, and I know that no amount of revising is going to make this post any more coherent, so you're just going to get my thoughts as they come. Sorry.
We've been trying to manage our money better this year. We have been living on cash for most things, with moderate success. We have still used our debit card, but not nearly as much. I like to tell people we were going broke twenty dollars at a time in the past. Using cash has made us more aware of how we spend our money and has led us to make small changes. Now is the time to make big changes. Husband and I were already talking about how we still weren't really going without and we were not making as much progress on our debt reduction as we could. Well, our debt reduction will probably be even slower, but we will definitely be going without now. I have been resistant to this, for selfish, lazy reasons. I kept saying I wanted to change, but wasn't following through. Again, this is not the way I would have gone about making a change, but it is obviously going to be what motivates me.
My brother reminded me that we are called to live simply. So much of what we think we need or want is just stuff. As we take a look at our budget and eliminate the extras, our life will be simple indeed. Regardless of what kind of job Husband finds and when he finds it, we know that we won't be making the same income. As the person who buys groceries, gifts, clothing, and things like that, my job will be to make the money stretch as far as possible. I've known I was too caught up in things, at times. This is my chance to really get serious about my role in this family.
I don't want my children to feel stress and worry over this situation. But, at the same time we do have to be honest with them. Right now they don't know that Husband will not have a job, but we will be telling them, once he is home during the day. My three big kids have birthdays in the next two weeks. While we never give extravegant gifts, we do like to give them things they have been asking for over the year. This year, they will be getting very simple gifts. And this is a chance for them to learn about enjoying simple and small pleasures.
Truly, God's love for us is evident every day, and that has not changed. We have been overwhelmed with messages of hope and prayers from friends and family. We look with confidence to this time next year, when we will say that this has truly been a blessing for our family. And in the meantime, we rely on God's grace to see us through.
More cheerful things to come, I promise. However, I will probably not be around much, as I plan to make the most of Husband's time at home.