Aprons

I have a plain black apron. It is functional. Well, kind of. It is actually too long. But it works. However, once I saw the aprons at Heavenly Hostess I realized I have been missing out on some big-time kitchen fashion. They are participating in the Fall bloggy giveaway. Go here for the apron giveaway. They are gorgeous.

In Flux

So you get a flurry of posts today, with the distinct possibility that there won't be any more for days. Lovely, right?

Our bedroom is a disaster. It is almost always teetering on the brink anyway, but we went right over the brink yesterday. Husband decided the time was right, now, to buy a new computer desk. We have been making do with a free one. It has served its purpose, but we have to hold the drawer up to get the keyboard shelf out. It is not pretty. Anyway, first Husband brought home a free desk from a friend. That was not a good start to the plan. He brings the desk home and immediately begins to clear the bookshelf that is in the space where the desk will go (we're moving the computer from its current location). Turns out the free desk isn't going to work. It doesn't fit in the corner at all. It is not any more functional than the current desk. We discover this AFTER the books have been strewn across the bed and everything moved around.




Also, we had been discussing going to the furnitore store(s) to look for a bed for the boys. Monster sleeps in a pack and play and I caught him with one leg over the side the other day. So, his escape is imminent. And I would rather have him getting out of bed safely than falling over the side of a playpen. So our room is a disaster and we're off to the furniture store. Oh yeah, and we need to go to Mass at 5:00. We didn't even leave until about 2:00. And we still had no desk and a mess of a room.




We failed to find a bed acceptable to us both. I want a trundle bed, Husband wants bunk beds. All I can think about is keeping the current two-year old from climbing up top and then the future toddler too. But, it is not a battle worth fighting, so we are going to have bunk beds eventually. But, Husband did go to the office supply store and buy a desk. Just before Mass. So he had to build it when we got home. After Mass and a long dinner with friends. We were up until midnight.



All for this.

Fall Festival for the First Time

We attended the Fall Fest at Princess's school this past Friday. It was a much-hyped event. Princess kept making sure we had our tickets. I contributed to the prizes for her classroom's game. I baked cupcakes for the cake walk. We all had high expectations. I think we were feeling a bit left down in the end. The BBQ we had for dinner was yummy. Buddy did win the cakewalk and we brought home some store-bought cupcakes (mine would have been better). They played a few games. I just thought there would be more games to play. It seems a lot of classes opted for things like renting a bounce house or hiring a balloon artist. Those things took a lot of tickets. Still, the kids had fun and we have many more fall fests in our future I guess. Here are the kids in costume. Buddy calls himself "Superhero" not Superman. I don't know why. And Monster is so cute I want to kiss him until my lips are numb. He's so spoiled.

Fall Y'all Bloggy Giveaway

Shannon at Rocks in My Dryer is hosting another giveaway carnival on her review blog. Go here for the list of giveaways and enter to your heart's content. All you have to do is leave a comment on the giveaways you want to enter. It is fun and you get to visit lots of blogs.

Dreamy

Nestle Double Chocolate Dream Cookies really live up to their name. I made a batch this morning. And I'm going to make another batch later today. Only I'm going to use peanut butter/chocolate swirl chips instead. I'm so bold and daring. If you love cookies and chocolate, make these. Pretty easy prep and I get a huge batch out of one bowl of batter. I can rationalize making two batches because of the tailgating fun this weekend. Or just because I want to, whatever.

I'm going to write a review/thoughts on Left to Tell, since I want to be part of Nutmeg's bloggy book club. But right now, my brain is maxed out. So I'll be back with that later.

Pumpkin Patch Fun

We went to the pumpkin patch today. I had my reservations about going. Last year it was hot and very crowded. I was also keeping up with four kids. This year, one kid was at school, so that helped. Also, not hot. However, windy. Very windy. Seems we can't have just a perfect day. Still, windy and cool is definitely better than sweating. This particular pumpkin patch is completely free, unless you buy one of the large pumpkins to bring home. But the hayrides are free, the bounce houses are free, and the reserved hayrides stop in mini-patches and the kids get to bring a pumpkin home--for free! It is really a lot of fun for the kids. The freeness makes it appealing to all manner of daycares and preschools and the like. Hence the crowds. But, we came a bit later in the day this year and it was much calmer and less insane. We had fun. Here's the pictures to prove it.

And It is Only 8:00 a.m.!

I have been on a streak of productivity this morning. Usually, I get up and make Princess's breakfast and lunch and get her ready for school. As soon as the other kids have food in their bellies, we turn on PBS and Mommy catches a snooze on the couch. Not today, my friends. Not today. I have already made a batch of waffles for the week. I have barbecue beef cooking in the crock pot. I have a load of clothes in the washing machine. I have started my grocery list. I'm afraid to quit moving, afraid this momentum may quickly dry up and leave me struggling to keep my eyes open.

I have lots to do this week. Husband turns 30 on Friday! We are celebrating at the UNT game on Saturday and since we will have more than the usual crowd, I have already begun planning. Of course we have asked people to bring their own meat and something to share, but I am still the hostess, so I have to provide something extra. If you haven't tried it, go to Big Mama's blog and get the recipe for Mississippi Sin Dip. It is awesome! We have re-named it Mean Green Dip in honor of our team. So I'm making two batches of that. And some cookies. And who knows what else. Plus Husband the Grill-Master will make his famous wings and we'll have some Meunster Sausage from Fischer's Meat Market. It is yummy!

I suppose I should also buy some gifts for the sweet man. I had some ideas a while back, but they have slipped from brain, of course. I'll think of something I know. Princess has Fall Festival at school this Friday and naturally I volunteered to help with her classroom game and bake cupcakes for the cake walk. Nothing like being overcommitted.

All that is to say that the blogging may be even lighter than usual this week, which I'm sure leaves you all crying with dismay. ;-)

P.S. I added an email address to my profile, so if you want to contact me off the blog that is the way to go.

P.P.S. Thanks for all of the encouraging comments on the Motherhood post.

Motherhood, Children, Living Witness

Let me tell you now--this is going to be long and rambly. I have been thinking on the above topics a lot these last few days, but I'm sure this post will come out jumbled and confusing. Still, I hope the meaning does not get lost. Also, I'm writing from a Catholic perspective, and while I value all input and opinions, I'm not here to debate beliefs regarding contraception and the like. By all means share your own perspective and story, but please do so in a way that promotes discussion in a peaceful manner. I hate conflict and I do not want it on my blog!

Here we go.

Danielle Bean got my thoughts going when she posted a sampling of questions she has received regarding family size. At last check, there were 81 responses and I did not read them all. It did get me thinking though. I have been thinking a lot about my own attitude about family planning and discerning family size and all that goes along with it. I have always accepted the Church's teachings on family planning, but I did not learn about the reasoning behind those teachings until college. And I'm still learning about how I understand them and how they are intended.

I think it boils down to obedience and trust. God wants us to seek His will in ALL areas of our lives. He wants us to continually pray and think and ponder on all that He has for us, and the size of our family is just one area of His plan for us. I know that for me it has been fairly easy to turn this area of my life over to Him, but there are other areas where I struggle. I'm guessing that is the case for all of us--some issues are easy to hand over and others are not. Holiness is not a contest between you and me. Holiness is the call to all of us, and God is concerned with how I am trying to achieve that, not what I am doing in relation to others. I said this was an issue of obedience, although I don't think it is often regarded that way. The question is, am I doing what God wants of me? That does not mean having babies constantly--it does mean asking Him for guidance and trusting God to give it. And where is my heart? Do I have a heart for God? Am I honestly seeking to do His will or am I getting caught up in pride and self-righteousness? Have I fallen into seeing my large(r) family as an outward sign of some special thing in me? Children are not badges to be worn, they are souls to be nurtured and guided to the Truth. So, how many kids will we have? I don't know. 7 years ago I would have laughed at the idea of 5. Now I know this is what He wants for me right now. Maybe this is it. All I can do is try to cooperate with His divine will. And that is the answer to family size questions, in my understanding--let God in on this decision at all times, and He will not fail you.

I have written several times about how I struggle with motherhood. I have said yes to God in having these kids, but too often that is where my obedience ends. I guess I should say I struggle with domestic life in general a lot of times. For it is not just my children that are not always served the way God calls me to, but my husband and the house in general. God doesn't just want me to be a baby factory. He wants me to be a wife and mother. A servant in Christ. He wants me to die to myself so that I can more clearly see those in front of me and better serve them. If I could do this, then I would naturally see the same from them. But that is not the motivation. When I manage to deny myself and turn outward, I am united with Christ in ways that would not be possible if I stayed self-centered. Again, all of us are called to this in whatever stage of life we are in. It is not about what you are doing, but how you are doing it. On the outside, it would appear to most that I am doing a good job and that God is pleased. I guess some of that is true, some of the time. But I know that I am not consistently doing what is being asked of me. But, that is all part of being on this path. Thank God for His patience and forgiveness! I believe I am in this role precisely because it is the one that challenges me the most to look beyond myself and look outward. Knowing this does not always make it easier, but it offers some peace.

As to being a living witness, here is where I'm going to sound ridiculous. I do believe we are called to witness through our lives to the truth of Christ (that is not the ridiculous part). How do I do that? Is it just in the size of my family? Is it in how I dress? How important is this aspect of faith? Again, pride and self-righteousness rear their ugly heads. I have somehow convinced myself that the way I look when out with my kids, the way my kids are dressed, their behavior, are all part of convincing the world that having children is great. Having children is great--but does any of that stuff really convince anyone? Let me give you some insight into my thought process. When not pregnant, I think endlessly about how I look and how I should try harder to not look like I have had so many kids. Ridiculous! I catch myself thinking that if I could show women that it is possible to have children and still have a figure and dress well and all that, that somehow they will look more favorably on having kids (or more kids as the case may be). I doubt very many women look at me and really give thought to how many kids I have and how I look and how that might move them to think of more. Or, I tell myself that my kids must be perfect all the time, or the world will just see their imperfections and continue thinking children are burdens. But are people really looking at them at all? They notice the number and then go on, I should think. I'm not saying I should let my kids run wild and crazy. What I am saying is that I should be concerned with their behavior in the scheme of molding character and raising children with a heart for God. I should try to keep my health up, not for what the world sees, but because God gave me this body and it is my duty to take care of it. You see, if I could turn my heart toward what God is calling me to, in all areas of my life, then my life becomes an authentic witness to Him. But if I am spending all my time thinking about how to do better or be better for the world, then I have lost sight of my purpose and will accomplish nothing.

It is His grace that makes all things possible. So will I get out of the way and let it work in me and the world?

Fall Into Reading Update

For my original list, go here.

I have finished The Rising Tide. Once it got going, it really was a story that kept me interested. I came in knowing next to nothing about the North African aspect of WWII and I think that contributed to my initial lack of interest. However, Jeff Shaara is able to make the characters come alive in a way that you want to know more about them and what they are thinking. I look forward to the rest of the series.

I read A Wrinkle in Time. I was not impressed overall. I just found the story confusing and disappointing. There is some compelling action, but I definitely wanted more explanation and more development. I realize this book was written for children, but it still could have used more meat in the story.

I just finished reading the Autobiography of a Gangster. It was very interesting. I have mentioned before my fascination with crime and things related that are so outside of my own experience. The book is filled with violence and is shocking, but also enlightening. I would like to know more about where the author is now and what he is doing.

We can't find our copy of Little House in the Big Woods, so we have just been reading story books from the library. I have started He Leadeth Me, but am only reading a chapter or so a day in order to try to let some of it sink in. I just started the Red Tent and am waiting on Left to Tell to arrive in the mail. I have also re-read books 4, 5 and 6 in the Harry Potter series and will be borrowing my mom's copy of book 7 for re-reading. I have noticed many things I didn't notice in the first reading.

Man Meme

I love talking about Husband, and I couldn't resist joining in on this meme I have seen in several places now.

The Man Meme (Saw at Aimee's place)


1. Who is your man? Travis

2. How long have you been together? 9 years since our first date.

3. How long did you date? 2 years

4. How old is your man? 29 for 9 more days

5. Who eats more? Definitely him, at least in the grand scheme of things.

6. Who said “I love you” first? He did. In fact, he told his friends he had met the girl he would marry the second time we spent any time together.

7. Who is taller? He is.

8. Who sings better? Travis, no question.

9. Who is smarter? The PC answer here is that we both have our intellectual strengths, which is true, but in general I would say I'm smarter and I think he would agree.

10. Whose temper is worse? Tie.

11. Who does the laundry? He does his own, I do everyone else's and sometimes his too.

12. Who takes out the trash? Usually him, although we both take it from the house to the bin in the garage. He is the one who gets the bins to the curb on trash day.

13. Who sleeps on the right hand side of the bed? Looking from the foot of the bed, I do. When I sleep in bed, which is never right now. The couch is more comfortable.

14. Who pays the bills? He does.

15. Who is better with the computer? We can both figure out small things, but need help for just about everything. I wouldn't say either one of us is better.

16. Who mows the lawn? Travis.

17. Who cooks dinner? What is this phrase "cooks dinner?" I don't understand. Really, it is usually me.

18. Who drives when you are together? Travis most of the time.

19. Who pays when you go out? Whoever is at the table when the bill comes (meaning one of us is usually in the bathroom w/kids or trying to get the kids in car if a meltdown is imminent).

20. Who is most stubborn? I am, unfortunately.

21. Who is the first to admit when they are wrong? Travis probably. We both hate conflict though, so we usually try to avoid any situation that would require that kind of admission.

22. Whose parents do you see the most? His, since they live ten minutes away. But we see mine fairly often too. It is just the right amount of time for both sides most of the time.

23. Who kissed who first? He kissed me first, which is quite the entertaining story. Just know that he has no moves whatsoever.

24. Who asked who out? He asked me out after mutual flirting on both sides.

25. Who Proposed? He did in a random corporate park with a fountain.

26. Who is more sensitive? In terms of being easily hurt, it is me. However, he is just as likely to cry at movies and things like that.

27. Who has more friends? I don't know--I guess most of our friends are mutual at this point.

28. Who has more siblings? Me--one of each, he has one brother.

29. Who wears the pants in the family? Travis is the head of the home.

Since his birthday is next week, I might be blabbing about him more than usual. Hope it doesn't make anyone crazy.

Early Christmas Present

I just bought my own Christmas present. Well, it will probably end up being a present, considering the cost. The Dallas Symphony is putting on a Beethoven Festival for the fall season. Of course all of them are beautiful, but I love the 9th (like most of the world). So, I mentioned to Husband that I would love to see it performed live. He said that sounded nice to him too, which is rare. So I ordered our tickets today. I resisted the temptation to buy the best tickets available and instead bought the second cheapest tickets available, which don't look all that bad on the seating diagram. I'm so excited I can't stand it. I saw the UNT Orchestra and music faculty perform the 9th Symphony while still in college and it was fantastic. I can only imagine that a group of professionals will be even better. I think I will be humming the music constantly between now and then.

Finally!

Mean Green Win! Mean Green win!

I knew they would turn it around. We finally got a full team effort for four quarters and produced a victory. It was so exciting! Husband and I were on our own for this game, which is unusual. We usually have a small crowd with us at the games (not kids) but got to enjoy just each other's company for this game. It was very nice. Next up is homecoming and Husband's 30th birthday! Hopefully the team will once again put together a winning effort.

We had a good mix of things to do and time to relax this weekend. I did the big season switch on clothes, keeping some shorts in the drawers because we do live in Texas after all. We rearranged the girls's room, moving the dresser to the room and the toys (or most of them) to the closet. It is so much nicer to walk into their room and see floor space for playing. I think this might help them clean things up too. I still want to paint and get new bedding, but that will take time. The quilts that I want for them are not cheap, so I will have to wait patiently and maybe buy them one at a time. I'm still psychologically nesting, without actually carrying out any of the projects I have in mind. I'll have to work on that.

It has been a rainy morning here and I am loving it. I can feel less guilty about reading and being lazy when the weather is like this. But, my newspapers are drenched and that is a bummer. I'm one of those archaic people who enjoys reading the actual newspaper, rather than getting my news online. But when the paper is soaking that is hard to do. Guess I'll catch up on the news tomorrow.

You ladies with the bra advice are so kind to want to help. But, I spent so much money on the two I have that I will just suffer through it until I need nursing bras. I will be looking for help there when the time comes.

Happy Monday!

The Great Undoing

I am going to be the cause of Husband's downfall. He has been going to the gym 2-3 times a week for the last two months. Yea! But, as fall approaches (the calendar says it is fall anyway) I am filled with the need to bake. Cookies, cakes, apple crisp, everything! I have a sweet tooth that fills my entire head and nothing can satisfy it like homemade baked goods. I'm no expert at it, but I can follow a recipe. So, the challenge will be to limit myself and give most of it away, so that my culinary efforts don't derail Husband's health efforts. It is a great struggle, can't you tell?

In completely unrelated news, I may have made a costly mistake at Victoria's Secret (that's sure to get some unwanted hits on the blog). The ladies have needed adequate support for some time. Summer is coming to an end and I can't get away with a sports support garment and tank tops much longer. Plus, it is not the most flattering look all the time. But my regular support undergarment was making me crazy. I require underwire support and have had difficulty finding the right fit. So I went to VS hoping for help. I know, I know, I should have gone to Nordstrom's, but that is 45 minutes away and I was not going to give up that much time on my lazy Saturday to drive. Anyway, I go to VS and let the girl measure me. Over my clothes, but still in front of anyone walking by! This getting fitted is not for the shy apparently. She tells me what size I need and that is the size I already own. So perhaps it is the poor quality of the garment. She gives me some samples to try on and into the room I go. One has no wire and is heavenly on the comfort scale, but doesn't fit just right and has a bow (I hate adornment). So I go to the next one. It certainly fits better than my cheapo garment from Target and the sales girl assures me it is super comfortable. So I buy two. And they are not cheap. I have worn them a few times. I am still having the same problem. The wire feels like it is poking under my arms. But I must wear them and suffer because they were expensive and I can't return them. The woes of a woman with more on top than she would like.

Baking and bras all in one post--come back for more quality writing soon!

A Bad Picture and a Half-sigh of Relief

My apologies for the poor quality on the ultrasound picture. I have never used our scanner before and have no idea how to do a better job editing the picture and those kinds of techie things. Below the cute baby picture is the latest pregnancy picture, taken today as well. I have managed to gain 3 pounds. Okay, I just checked how the picture published, and if you click on it you can see a bigger, clearer version. Baby is lounging around giving us a profile view.

So, as far as we can tell everything is progressing nicely. But, Baby was so comfortably nestled low in my body that the sonographer could not see all the way down the spine. No reason to think anything is wrong, it was just the position of the baby. He/she was quite comfortable stretched out in a breech position too low to get a complete picture. So, I get another look at the little one next month. Hence the half-sigh. I know everything is okay, but will feel better when they get that full picture. As to gender, even if we wanted to know, this baby was not cooperating. We don't find out what we are expecting anyway--we like the suspense the day of the birth (most likely Feb. 27 early in the morning) since we have scheduled c-sections. Anyway, all is as good as can be seen. Yea!

An Advance Apology

I know I haven't posted in days and I know I have relied on memes anyway. Well, no meme today, but a pathetic brain dump instead. Hence the need for an advance apology. Read at your own risk!

• I want to learn something new, or get better at something I already do. I realize I just quit a ministry at church because I am stretched too thin and can't keep up. So maybe I will wait until after baby comes to do this. Of course, then I will have 5 (!) children in the world and will still be sleep deprived, so it is rather optimistic (or foolish) to think I will be better able to do something. I'm thinking I would really like to learn how to quilt. I know, I'm not 80 years old and I have zero crafting ability. Still, I can learn. I like to read and I like to tackle new things, so I figure I could learn how to do this. I bet there are even classes or something in the area. Or, I would like to take cooking classses. I like cooking, but I don't know enough to experiment with confidence. When you're feeding a large-ish family on a budget, you can't exactly throw away the mistakes. This would be the far more practical challenge, but we'll see what wins out.

• Sleep is my friend. We had precious little to do this weekend and it was heavenly. I spent a lot of time in bed watching useless TV and took a two hour nap yesterday! Woohoo! I don't know how my parenting skills would have appeared to an outsider, but the kids all ate when appropriate and no one got hurt or watched too much TV, so I'm not sweating it. Finally I feel like a semi-alert human again. We'll see how long it lasts.

• The Mean Green are breaking our hearts right and left. We are trying so very hard to hang on and have hope, but it is not easy. Still, we'll load up the tailgating gear and head out to Fouts Field this weekend and hope for things to turn around. Good thing we are also long-time Rangers fans and somewhat immune to losing.

• I bought lots of chocolate chips today. I'm going to make some delicious chocolate dream cookies. The recipe is on the back of Nestle semi-sweet chips and it is yummy. The question is, do I bake with the kids around and thus let them "help" or do I wait until they are in bed and cook in peace?

• Sonogram tomorrow! Very excited and somewhat anxious. The funny thing about pregnancy is that each one is fraught with more anxiety than the previous one, at least for me. It seems I am more aware of more potential problems than ever, so I will be anxious to see the baby and know that things are all good. If they are not all good, well, God will get me through that too.

Sorry for a brain dump. I'll post pics tomorrow if I can figure out how the scanner works. I'm working on complete thoughts and things of interest.

Too Fun

I have seen this on a couple of blogs this morning and could not resist joining in. I don't know if my brain is capable of more right now anyway.

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME: (first pet & current car) I didn't have any pets growing up and still don't so I will borrow the name of the pet of my best friend growing up. Sparky Freestyle

2.YOUR GANGSTA NAME: (fave ice cream flavor, favorite cookie) Chocolate Chip Sugar

3. YOUR “FLY Guy/Girl” NAME:(first letter of first name, first three letters of last name)
N-Sco

4. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (favorite color, favorite animal) Purple Whale

5. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, city where you were born) Marie Longview

6. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first)Sco-Ni

7. SUPERHERO NAME: (”The” + 2nd favorite color, favorite drink) The Pink Tea

8. NASCAR NAME: (the first names of your grandfathers) John Fred

10.WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother’s & father’s middle names ) Rita Lee

11. TV WEATHER ANCHOR NAME: (Your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter) Allen Austin

12. SPY NAME: (your favorite season/holiday, flower) Baseball (it's a season!) Daisy

13. CARTOON NAME: (favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now + “ie” or “y”)Apple Hoodie

14. HIPPIE NAME: (What you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree) Coffee Oak

15. YOUR ROCKSTAR TOUR NAME: (”The” + Your fave hobby/craft, fave weather element + “Tour”) The Reading Rain Tour

Feel free to join in.

Facing Reality

I thought I could do it all. I was wrong. I decided this week that I will not be able to volunteer with our high school youth group. When I first volunteered, I was not pregnant. Even when I found out I was pregnant I felt confident that I could manage everything just fine. I had no idea I would be so knocked out by the demands of life. Each commitment or activity on its own did not seem overwhelming. But when taken together, the toll it was having on my family and me was too much. I can't quit my job, and it is only two hours once a week with little advance preparation. I can't ask my daughters to quit dance because I am tired and want to have time to serve someone else. I have realized that my family needs me to serve them first and more often. And I want to be with them. Serving teenagers requires great sincerity and dedication. They will recognize a half-hearted commitment and be hurt by it. My heart was not in this ministry the way it was the first time around and I had to let it go.

However, I still want to be doing something in the church. I do coordinate the playgroup, but that is little more than showing up to unlock the building. So, I will be continuing to look for ways to help without making long-term, weekly commitments. There are seasons in our lives and I need to accept this one and realize that I will have more time to give down the road. It still makes me a little sad though.

On a completely unrelated note, I think I have decided on the name of my blog. I also changed my display name to my first name. Since I have used it elsewhere, it seems silly to not use it here. So, when you see 'nicole' think of '4andcounting.'