My House is Surely Spinning in the Sky this very MOMENT!

I hate tornadoes. Now, that may not seem strange, as they are quite destructive and all. But I am truly, absurdly afraid of them. Just the mention of a tornado watch gets me all wound up. I immediately start thinking about where the flashlight is, how safe is the closet,what will I need to move to get in there, will O.H. be home when it hits, and so on and on. Further feeding my paranoia is the lack of reliable weather reports, because we have satelite TV service. So, a strong wind and four drops of rain will knock the signal out and I'm left scrambling with the radio. You may be wondering if I have ever actually experienced a tornado. Perhaps I have been scarred by this and that explains this deep fear. Nope, not even a little bit. About twice in my life has there been enough tornadic activity to warrant the sirens. Once in almost six years of marriage has there been occasion to rush to the closet. Once in college they ran the sirens. Once in fourth grade (scariest day ever!). That's about it. And not once has a tornado actually formed and come anywhere near me and my loved ones. Still, I nearly tremble in fear at the mention. Living in D/FW does not help with this problem, as it is prime tornado territory. So, today, as I watch the weather with a growing fear, pray for me that I don't pass on this too far-reaching fear onto my children. I know tornadoes should be taken seriously, but I take it way beyond that.

Raise Money for St. Jude's

A fellow blogger has a corporate sponsor that has agreed to donate up to $500 to St. Jude's. They will give a dollar for every comment, up to 500. So, go there, and leave a comment and link it on your blog if you have one. There is only today and tomorrow remaininig. Its easy too.

Hell Hath Frozen Over

For some of you readers, the following may be a fairly normal occurrence. Not so much in our house.

O.H. bought me jewelry! This is truly a surprise. He has always maintained that he doesn't like jewelry, it is stupid, expensive, etcetera. I, on the other hand, am completely girlie when it comes to shiny things. I like it. Not that I want tons of way expensive things, but a few pretty pieces can go a long way. Well, O.H. braved the jewelry store (and the hot clerk he told me about) not once, but twice! You see, he bought me something, then pointed to it in an ad and asked if I would like something like that (heart-shaped necklace w/diamond accents and earrings to match) and I said no! I don't really care for hearts as jewelry, just not my style. I'm a star girl if we're talking shapes. Anyway, he apparently bought that for me and when I said I didn't like it he went and exchanged it! He returned with something else and all was good. I opened it yesterday and was way surprised. He did good. Maybe I'll post a picture. The real story isn't the actual necklace, but that he bought jewelry at all.

Feeling Inadequate

As I worked on my Bible Study questions today I began to be overcome with a feeling of inadequacy. I am surrounded by women that are truly living their vocation. Not just managing, not just making it through the day, but really living out their lives as the mothers (and wives, but this is about mothering) God wants them to be. This is a good thing, no doubt, but today it was leaving me feeling not so good.

We all have those friends that seem to have it all together. They are attractive, their kids are smart and well-behaved, they pray regularly and often, they have immaculate homes and they do nothing wrong. Or so it would seem. But then, I only see them some of the time. Just as they only see me and my family some of the time. Maybe they think all those things about me (hopefully they do?) and go home feeling inadequate. These people have their own insecurities and their own struggles and their own battles. God wants to work in us and through us, and He does it according to each of our needs and talents. And these people are great blessings to me, regardless of whether or not I see them for that all the time. They have been put in my life for good, and when I get over my insecurities, they will do God's work in me.

Before you begin to think I am wallowing in despair, fear not. I have overcome these feelings, if only for a day. I realize that who I am today is good enough for God's love. He may want more from me, He undoubtedly has more planned for me, but for today, He will take what I give him. He will use my meager offerings to do His work, whether I am aware of it or not. His grace works in spite of me, not because of me. On my best days, I am cooperating in His work, but on my worst days, I am not hindering it. I realized today (again) He will wait for me. He will push me and He will open doors and try to reach me, but in the end, He will wait for me to come to Him. And He will welcome me again and He will continue to work in me. We get to start over all the time with God! He doesn't hold grudges, he doesn't bring up past failures, He welcomes us as beloved children! So, I'm not inadequate if I unite myself to Him and vow to try again.

A New Addiction

Blogging is turning my nerdy world upside down. Before I got into this whole blog thing, I was a voracious reader. I mean, reading at the expense of almost anything else. I would read a book in a day or two, and pick up another one right away. Mostly fiction. I realized last night as I got into a book I just got from the library that I have not been reading as much. Why? Because I'm reading all these blogs! I had no idea what I was getting into when I started mine. So, I'm vowing to reduce my blog reading and increase my book reading once again. There are good stories out there and they are waiting to be read by me. So all of my dear readers, ask me what I'm reading and keep me accountable. Tell me to get offline and get my nose in a book. Or I could parent my children, but that would just be too obvious. ;)

A Star is Born!

A few kind readers have reminded me that I have not posted about our big show. I apologize for the delay--it was a very busy weekend and I'm still recovering.

Well, Princess was born to be on stage apparently. She was wonderful! She held her arms in her "triangle" pose the whole time. She smiled the whole time. When her friend next to her was talking to her she didn't move. It really was great. O.H. and I must have looked like fools with our giant grins, but we don't care. We could tell she was looking at her teacher offstage, but that was fine. It was a great first performance and we are so proud. It was so fun to have that first big dance experience and I can't wait for all the ones to follow.

Welcome to our Christmas Home

Okay, here goes my first attempt at major picture usage and participating in something fun. See other homes here.



This is our Christmas tree and our stockings (duh!). This is the main decoration we have in our house. Everything else is pretty simple and small, except the giant wreath in our entryway.

This is what you see when you walk in our front door. We have a raised ceiling in our entryway, so we put this huge wreath up there. It is actually my favorite decoration because my grandmother made the bows for me and I think it looks awesome up there.

Here is our Nativity. My godmother just sent this to me last year. The baby Jesus is not in there yet; we'll unwrap him on Christmas day and place him in the manger.

These vases sit on our bar and I never use them except at Christmas. This is my attempt to be elegant and classy. O.H. put the small Nativity next to it, I don't know why.

And finally, our books. These are books that get put away with the Christmas stuff every year. We read them only during Christmas. I love books, so this is also a favorite. And you can kind of see my little Advent Wreath to the side. I don't do the greenery on mine, so it is very plain.

There you go, that is our Christmas home. Like I said, we keep it pretty plain and simple.

And here is a recipe for Chocolate Candy Bar Cookies, from George Yates in the Dallas Morning News Cookie Contest.

Chocolate Candy Bar Cookies

1 (18 ounce) roll refrigerated chocolate chip cookie dough

1 cup chopped pecans (optional)

3 Milky Way original candy bars, chopped, divided use

1/4 cup unsalted butter

1 tablespoon milk

1 cup powdered sugar

1/2 cup almond toffee bits

Preheat oven to 350 F. Break up cookie dough in mixing bowl and add pecans and stir (0r not, I just made the cookies). Shape dough into 20 balls and place 2 inches apart on 2 ungreased cookie sheets. Bake for 10 to 15 minutes. Cool on the cookie sheet for 2 minutes then remove from cookie sheets to completely cool.

Meanwhile, in a small saucepan, combine 2 of the chopped candy bars and butter. Cook over low heat 2 to 3 minutes, stirring frequently, until melted and smooth. Remove from heat, add milk and powdered sugar. Beat until smooth.

Frost cooled cookies with warm Milky Way mixture. Immediately sprinkle remaining candy bar and toffee bits over frosting. Gently press into frosting. Makes 20 cookies.

That's all folks. Thanks for stopping by.

My Own Dewdrop

Here is my Princess in all her dewdrop glory. This was taken at rehearsal on Monday. We have the big show tomorrow. We're so excited!

Inertia

I'm not even sure that is the right word. It has been a long time since high school science.

I'm stuck. I know what I want to be doing. I know what He wants me to be doing. But I'm not doing it. I know I'm not the first to feel this (hello, St. Paul) but that is not helping. I feel as though months have passed in which I have done nothing to form and educate my children. We are merely getting through the days, eating and drinking and surviving, but not living. Why stay home if this is all I am going to do? Why can I not get myself up and moving? Not in a literal sense (I obviously have to get up and move with 4 small children). I have all these ideas and plans and goals, but I do nothing to achieve them. I want to do better for my family and myself. In our Family Apostolate we watched a series of videos on Fr. Scanlan's Appointment with God. We were supposed to make an appointment and keep it. That lasted a week. And since then, a big fat nothing. I'm treading water and don't know how to swim. Or I know how to swim, but I lack the motivation to do it. So I'll go to confesssion tonight (much overdue confession) and talk to the kind priest and see if that doesn't get me going. I need a holy kick in the a**.

Thirteen Christmas Songs I like, in no particular order, but with some repeats

1. Here With Us--Joy Williams

2. Manger Throne--Third Day

3. Mary's Prayer--Bebo Norman w/Christine Byrd

4. O Holy Night--Kelly Clarkson

5. Gloria--Mercy Me

6. Silent Night--Mercy Me

7. Drummer Boy--Mercy Me

8. Joseph's Lullaby--Mercy Me

9. Born In Bethlehem--Third Day

10. Away in a Manger--Third Day

11. O Come all Ye Faithful--Third Day

12. Mary Did You Know--Kathy Mattea

13. Breath of Heaven--Amy Grant

Okay, so no repeats on this list, but it is by no means exhaustive. I really love Christmas music (well, Christmas hymns and the like).

Where I Amaze you with my Great Crafting Abilities

Or not. Honestly, I aspire to amazing crafting abilities. I want to make cute, elegant, funky, whatever homemade gifts for my friends and family. I want to be that friend that always has the perfect thing to give, beautifully wrapped or prepared. But alas, I was blessed with a logical, practical, decidedly non-crafty nature. And a great gift for procrastination. I walk around the craft store and envision the great things that could be done with the mini takeout boxes and little gift boxes and cute tiny baskets. I would fill them with bounty unseen, if only I actually bought them and tried to carry out my plan. But instsead I am paralyzed by the enormity of it all and I do nothing. So, all my dear loved ones, know that I want to give you something unique and fun and perhaps tasty (I do like to bake). But also know that it is not likely to happen this year or next or ever, unless something radical happens and I begin to follow through on all my grand plans.

Just being honest y'all.

They Fixed It--Oh Wait . . .

Update: The driver mysteriously reappeared and has been in good working order for several days now. I mixed and burned to my heart's content and now have one very fine Christmas cd. So, thanks to whomever worked the magic and made all things work again.



Today I decided I would try to figure out how to burn a mix cd for myself with the Christmas songs I like. I've mentioned before my habit of buying Christmas cds in search of the perfect song. Well, I'm tired of hauling around six cds or whatever. I thought it would be great to just make one kick-a cd. So I insert my CD and go to my player and it says there is no cd driver. What? That's odd, since I just put a CD in the missing driver.

I attempted to fix the problem by spending copious amounts of time searching and clicking and what not. Then I visited my support website (Dell) and decided the problem was too complex for little old me. I called tech support. I got help. After giving over control of my computer to the tech guy (remote access amazes me, much like fax machines amaze me) I let him navigate the many windows. So he fixes it. While still connected I listen to a cd, burn pictures to a cd, generally determine that the driver is in fact there and working. I'm very happy and give a glowing report on the survey.

After rebuilding the "tent" in the living room for the kids I get back to business. I insert my cd and get ready to hear Christmas music goodness. But. nothing. happens. Again. I have sent an email to the support guy and will wait to see what he can do.

Just in case you think this is a complaint against Dell tech support, it is not. I was very pleased with my experience and thought the problem was solved. My guy was patient and friendly and didn't seem to mind the screaming going on in the background. So, not their fault that things don't work again. At least, I don't think it is.

I am a Mommy

Yesterday Princess had her dress rehearsal for her stage debut. Now I have had mommy moments before, but nothing like this. As the curtains opened and the music started I was overcome with that special mom feeling. That's my baby up there on the stage doing exactly what she is supposed to do! She sat up with her arms out and didn't move. When her dewdrop hat got knocked over she kept smiling and quickly fixed it. When one of the butterflies bumped her she didn't flinch. I can't even explain what I was feeling. I'm sure the experienced dance moms were looking at me and laughing, as if they never experienced that first time their precious one was on stage doing what they were supposed to do. But I don't care. It was great! I can't believe my Princess is 5 and has the confidence she showed last night. I can't wait for Friday's show. Her daddy is going to be so proud.

Thus far I have kept my kids' faces off this blog. But, she is so stinking cute in her dewdrop costume that I just might have to post a picture. After I convince O.H. to load them on the computer and then figure out how to upload to the blog. So, don't hold your breath. She'll probably be 10 by the time I figure all that out.

Christmas Survey

Do it on your blog if it pleases you.

1. Egg nog or hot chocolate? Hot chocolate. Scratch that. GODIVA or Ghiradelli hot chocolate. With vodka. Or kaluha. Or Bailey's. Or whatever. (i kept this answer from the blog i read it on here)

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree? The presents are wrapped. But I don't put who they are from. So I don't know if my kids think Santa leaves them or what. While Santa is discussed around here, we haven't done it in any organized cohesive manner. So I have no idea what my kids think regarding present delivery.

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white? White. I have always wanted white lights on my tree and white lights on my house. We didn't get the house lights up this year, but that is okay. I love how pretty and simple the white lights are.

4. Do you hang mistletoe? No.

5. When do you put your decorations up? As of this year we do it on December 6, the feast of St. Nicholas.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish (excluding dessert)? Stuffing I think.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child: There was one Christmas when someone dressed as Santa came to our house when we had a party. I don't remember much more than that. I also loved staying up wrapping presents with my mom.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa? I don't remember.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve? As a child, yes. Now we open gifts with my in-laws on Christmas Eve and our own family gifts in the morning.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree? White lights and ornaments. I let the kids help more this year. There is a mix of traditional glass balls, a few ornaments we have acquired and some made by the kids. It is a good mix and the tree still looks pretty. I'm not a big fan of the theme tree, but I don't want a tacky tree either.

11. Snow! Love it or dread it? I'm mostly indifferent. I don't care for cold weather, so I don't play in it. I do enjoy seeing my kids play in it. And if I am well provisioned I don't mind being stuck inside for a day or two.

12. Can you ice skate? Sort of.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift? I can't choose one. O.H. got me a great watch a couple of years ago. My mom always comes through with something perfect for me. I like the anticipation and surprise of opening as much as the gift itself. I am definitely not someone who shakes the gifts or tries to sneak a peek.

14. What’s the most important thing about the holidays for you? Carrying on traditions, primarily spiritual, and spending time with family.

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert? Pie! Chocolate! Fudge! Cookies! I love desserts.

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition? I honestly love going to Mass at midnight and can't wait for my kids to be old enough to do that. For now, it is the singing and guitar playing of O.H. and his family.

17. What tops your tree? A silver wire star. Kind of modern, we should probably have an angel, but I really like the star.

18. Which do you prefer, giving or receiving? Both. When I find a gift that I know is perfect I love watching the person open it. But what can I say? I love opening gifts too.

19. What is your favorite Christmas song? O Come All Ye Faithful, Mary Did You Know?, O Holy Night and I could go on; I buy at least one new Christmas CD every year in an endless search for the perfect version of every song

20. Candy canes: Meh. No, thanks.

21. Favorite Christmas movie? I'm not big on the Christmas movies. That is just not what does it for me. I do like the Christmas Pageant one though (can't remember the name, so I must have really loved it, ha ha).

22. What do you leave for Santa? Nothing. Again, since we don't have any concrete Santa traditions we don't do this.

Reunion!

I got my first notification of my ten-year reunion today. Eek! Am I really old enough to have a 10-year reunion coming up? I don't know if I will go or not. My parents still live there, so I can easily go and have a place to stay and even have a sitter. I'm just not sure I want to go there. I was very comfortable with my social status in high school. I certainly wasn't one of the "cool kids" but I had my group of friends and look back with no hard feelings on my high school experience. But that doesn't mean I never felt outcast or rejected or whatever, so I don't know if I really want to go back. I think I will probably go to at least some of the festivities, mainly to see how people react to what I am doing these days. I guarantee no one would have me pegged for a stay-home mom of 4 little ones. The shock value is very appealing. I'm sure I'll have more to say on this event in the coming months.


WOWO rocks!

Buddy

A friend commented that I don't mention Buddy very much. Lest you think I don't notice him or love him, here is a little about him.

He is 3. And what a 3 year-old he is! As he gets older I see more of the boy in him. Now, he is still a fairly calm and laid-back boy, but he does funny things. He walks around randomly growling as he talks. He runs into the middle of the room and kind of hits himself as he falls to the ground. He makes truck sounds and likes Spiderman. He is so very different from the girls, but still so very sweet and so our child. In fact, he looks like his daddy did at that age, so that I feel as though I am watching O.H.'s childhood relived. He is still a very sweet little guy though, and I am so glad I have sons. There really is a difference in our relationship and what I have with the girls. These are my guys and Buddy is the big brother and I just love having him! And his littleness (barely on the weight chart y'all) is my favorite thing about him.

Okay, there is my mush quotient for the week I think.

Christmas with a Family

Now that Princess is 5 and Nutball is 4 and Buddy is 3 we are enjoying the Christmas season a lot more. Not that we didn't enjoy it before, but it is so fun to have kids in the house discovering Christmas and all the traditions and things of that nature. We started a new tradition this year. From now on, we will put our Christmas decorations out on St. Nicholas's Feast Day, Dec. 6. I wasn't too comfortable with doing it right after Thanksgiving, but we definitely aren't ready to wait until Christmas itself to do all the trimming. So, we honor and celebrate St. Nicholas by preparing our home for the Christmas season, instead of giving the kids little gifts in their stockings (because we all know the last thing my house needs is more little stuff). The kids were so excited when we pulled the boxes out of the attic and they had such fun putting things on the tree. I bought some precut ornaments made of thin mdf or something at Michael's and the kids colored them and decorated with glitter glue and so had their very own ornaments to put on the tree. We let them put the glass balls on the tree too, but then moved them higher to keep Monster from pulling them down and breaking them. It was so nice to spend an evening listening to Christmas music and peacefully enjoying each other's company. I'm definitely feeling the spirit more now.

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen Things I love about SUMMER 1. Texas Rangers Baseball 2. Flip Flops 3. Tank tops 4. Swimming 5. Longer days 6. My birthday (late August is still summer, right?) 7. It is not cold 8. Snowcones 9. Beth Marie's (I know it is open year round, but it is a summer kind of place) 10. Vacation Bible School (I sing and dance and generally make a fool of myself) 11. No school for our friends so more playdates 12. My summer shoes are way cuter than my winter shoes 13. It's not cold! Guess what--I don't like winter. Links to other Thursday Thirteens!1. (leave your link in comments, I’ll add you here!)

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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A Case of the "I-wants"

So, yesterday I was doing a little bit of shopping. Had to get the stuff for craft today at playgroup (very cute St. Nicholas ornaments) and the snack. While out, I decided to do a little Christmas shopping. I found some great things for O.H. and the boys. We already know what we are getting the girls, just need to buy them (bikes). Anyway, I'm strolling around Target and just finding myself thinking that I wanted everything. Cute clothes for the kids, fun toys for the kids, Christmas dishes for me--it seemed I wanted something from every aisle. It really got me down--not because I couldn't buy it but because I even wanted it in the first place. Here I am talking to my kids and trying to discourage greediness in them, only to spend 20 minutes in a store and consumed with desire. Why? I took comfort in the fact that I recognized the disorder of my thoughts and that I did walk out of the store without giving in to those impulses. I came home and talked to O.H. about it and he did a good job of making me feel better. I realize these feelings are all too human and that I am not unique in them, but that doesn't diminish the disappointment I felt for having them. Is anyone else experiencing these feelings?

Crawling back on the wagon

Funny, this blog was started as an exercise journal. No hint of exercise has been mentioned here in the last two weeks. After a too-long break I dragged myself back on to the treadmill today. I only exercised once the week of Thanksgiving and once last week, so I was expecting some sluggishness. I did my full 30 minutes, but only about 5 of it was running. I am just too out of practice to do much more. We have found a race in Grapevine in January, so I have that motivating me to get back in practice.

I had planned to get up and do my prayer time, exercise and check email all before the kids woke up. Alas, my bed was too warm and cozy. I didn't get up until the kids demanded it. Laziness has found a home and is sticking around.

Sunday Sustenance

I'm starting something new. Sunday Sustenance for the Soul. I'll share some Scripture or other writing that encourages or challenges or inspires me. I'll try to do it every week, as it will motivate me to continue to seek out those things. Here goes.

"Sing praise to the Lord, you faithful; give thanks to God's holy name. For divine anger lasts but a moment; divine favor lasts a lifetime. At dusk weeping comes for the night; but at dawn there is rejoicing." Psalm 30: 5-6

Every day presents countless signs of God's blessings on us. Some days we will not see them, for we are too mired in despair. Yet they are still there, and they still bless us, even if we do not take them into account. These sufferings and hardships are but a night, and life with Him is ours tomorrow. Give thanks in all things; for all things, the good and the bad, can be instruments of God's grace, if we only let Him move in us.

A Dictionary Entry

Sprinks: origin: TX, four-year old, n; not sprinkles, but something similar when it is cloudy and maybe raining; as in "I hear the sprinks Mommy."

Dewdrop

Princess is a dewdrop in her dance studio's Christmas production. I'm very excited for her and also very nervous. Her teacher put her at the front, so it is her job to start the movements they do on stage. That is a big job. She is not one to seek attention and I'm very worried that she will freeze up on stage. She had rehearsal today and it took a few minutes for her to even decide to join her class waiting for their turn. Once she got over there though, she did great! She forgot to stop running a couple of times, but overall it was a great success! Still, I worry that she will not like the whole stage idea. We'll see. We have two weeks to work on it. I'm sure she will look beautiful and will be excited to be in her sparkly blue costume. I'm excited to see my oldest child start to do these big kid things. I can't believe she's mine!

A Rant about Christmas Music

Our local Christian radio station began playing Christmas music this last weekend. Personally, I would rather they wait until December 1st or so, but that is not what I am ranting about. This is a Christian station, yet at Christmas time they see fit to play any Christmas song out there. This is most likely because they play said holiday music almost all the time. Apparently there is some small time carved out for regular music, but most of the time it is Christmas music. I truly hate this. I would much rather hear regular music most of the time, with a Christmas song here and there. Then they could choose to play the good ones, the ones with a meaning beyond the secular side. There is nothing wrong with secular Christmas songs (what an oxymoron), but it is not as if this radio station would play a random secular song in the middle of the summer. No, they just break out the sappy, cheesy crap when Christmas rolls around. Just think, if they only played 1-2 Christmas songs an hour, they could choose the really good ones and leave the others out. A well-done O Holy Night is going to touch me more often than a sloppy Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree. I mean, if they want to be a light in the darkness, and proclaim the reason for the season and all that, how does Here Comes Santa Claus do that? And, it is not Christmas yet, so it would seem more appropriate to play a few songs throughout the day in anticipation, rather than playing them nonstop and then ceasing all Christmas songs on Dec. 26.

Lest you think I'm a Scrooge, I do truly enjoy Christmas music. Ask O.H.--my CD collection is really ridiculous. I just don't like hearing crap Christmas music is all. Does anyone else feel this way?