Oh Vanity

I feel silly even posting this. Being a blogger is weird sometimes.

Anyway.

I bought a maxi dress. And I think I like it. But it is not in my normal fashion comfort zone. So naturally I took pictures. And I want your opinion. The tags are still on the dress, in case it looks awful and I need to take it back. Tell me what you think. Be honest. But not mean. Thanks for indulging me.

Oh, and I know the belt is not right, but it is the only one I have. If the belted look is more flattering I will get a darker belt, probably braided.

 If it matters, I think I like it better with the belt. But so far my Twitter friends like it better without.

This whole post is so ridiculous.

The Unplanned Break

Oh friends, I didn't mean to leave a silly but fun post about my legs sit at the top of my blog for over a week! But life happens and so it sat.

Two weeks ago I said I was a writer and then seemingly fell off the face of the earth. I'm guessing the best writers don't do this. And I wish I could say I've been filling pages with my messy handwriting, pouring out words of substance and meaning. Alas, I cannot. I've been living, mostly.

Last week I was overcome with some kind of epic tiredness (but it is NOT what I know at least a few of you are thinking) and allergy crud. Naturally, our lives did not slow down just because I felt a magnetic pull to my couch. Wait--blessed rain did come along and give us a brief respite from the busy. I do love our crazy life and watching my kids play baseball and tee ball and soccer and volleyball. I do. But I also give thanks for the chance to just hang out and watch a movie as a family and slow down a little bit. There's grace in the busy and grace in the quiet.

I made a Lenten resolution to spend less time on the computer (I know we're not supposed to talk about our sacrifices, but it is kind of important to share this as I go forward). Going to Blissdom at the start of Lent was perhaps not the best timing. I met so many new people and found even more blogs to read and now have less time than ever to read them and interact with new friends online. So when I do get to open up the laptop for a bit I feel pulled in many directions. And this little space gets neglected.

Every session I went to at the conference that really spoke to me included the need to get up and get started early in the day. To take those still-dark early morning hours and make them mine, as it is time that I am not needed by family. But oh how I hate to wake up early. And oh how I love my warm and cozy bed. So I'll be engaging in a battle of wills with my own will. At the very  least maybe it will produce some crazy writing. The world likes crazy, right?

So that's where I'm at. Struggling against my lazier tendencies and still seeking to harness the thoughts and passion that were stirred up at the conference, all while being the wife and mother and friend the people right in front of me need. I'm hoping to bring more words to the screen though. I hope you'll stick around.

My Legs Are My Favorite

I was going to title this "I've Got Great Legs" but I'm afraid I might disappoint people looking for something else via search engines.

I'm about to go all shallow on y'all. Only I hope I make my point and it is not so shallow after all.

I've got great legs. I'm not bragging (much). Even Steph said so in an email! Her little aside got me thinking. I do love my legs. I've worked hard to get them to look good, and had some help in the genetics department too (my mom has nice legs). And it may seem silly or vain to talk about my legs on my own blog. But since it is my blog, I'm going to do it anyway.

In Zumba one day one of the other women complained about all the mirrors in the room. She didn't like looking at herself. Having mirrors on three of the four walls can really open your eyes to how far you have to go to look the way you want to look. I commiserated, but then shared my own thoughts. I just look at my legs. They're my favorite. I don't look at my stomach, because I know that no matter how  many hours I spend in the gym I won't ever have the flat stomach I had before kids. I don't look higher than my stomach because the perkiness of that area left a long time ago. I don't look at my arms much because I have been way too lax about strength work. I just look at my legs. I look at what makes me happy.

I want to challenge anyone reading this. Find something about yourself that you like and share it. And I am talking physical here. It doesn't have to be something big or something that you had a direct impact on. Maybe you love your ears because they are small and elegantly shaped. Maybe your elbows are less wrinkly than other people's elbows. Perhaps you have a great smile. Or eyes that are bright and welcoming. Maybe your hands show a quiet strength or the toil of working at something you love.

I know you have a great mind. I know your spirit is more beautiful than the most perfect physical feature on the most beautiful person in the world. And you know it too. But I bet you've spent time looking at yourself in the mirror and finding all the flaws. Just once, look for something you love. And next time you're looking in the mirror, remind yourself of it.

I love my legs. What do you love about yourself?

Just Write: Words

(Written in a notebook last night, typed today, no editing, promise)

She says "u-knee-corn" instead of "u-nuh-corn" and my heart explodes and freezes at the same time. Lily has said it this way all along, but today I heard it as if it was new and different. Hence the explode. But the freeze? That is me trying to hold on. One day she won't say it that way. And will I notice the first time she says it "right" or will she have been saying it and I just hadn't heard?

While I was gone Ben grew by one million times, naturally. I put him in his seat and he says "buckle" and I exclaim. Oh that, Travis says. Yeah, he's been saying it. But it was my first time to hear it and so it was worthy of exclamation to me.

Instead of worrying about what I've already missed and what I might miss I will say "this is happening now and I am witnessing it" and that is good enough. Most of the time.

Linking up at The Extraordinary Ordinary.

Write Something Scary

Write something scary, he said.

I wanted to stand up and say that just being there, in that room with people who write so passionately and well was all the scary I could handle. The session was called "Falling Back in Love with Writing" and I felt like a fraud even being there. How can you fall back in love with something that you're not sure you've ever loved in the first place?

I'm not sure I've ever felt like a writer, at least for more than five minutes at a time. A re-teller of events, maybe, but not a writer. But being there in that session stirred something inside, something that did not awaken at the other sessions. So there must be something in me that wants to get it out. Instead of telling myself all the reasons I can't possibly be a writer, maybe it is time to look at all the things that say I am a writer.

I want to write without expectation and without fear of response. I censor and edit and worry about what the person reading will think or say about me. If I've never exposed this part of me, how do they know it has always been there? 

Write something scary. Here goes.

I am a writer.

Hello Blissdom Friends!

I'm hoping to figure out how to make this post stay at the top for a week or so, for anyone visiting for the first time from Blissdom. So, if you are a regular reader you can scroll down and find new content, hopefully (but not until Friday, at the earliest, where I hope to post about What It's Like: When I'm Gone). Since I'm techno-lame it might not work.

What an introduction!

Welcome new readers! I thought I would just share some of my favorite posts to help you get to know me and my writing. I'm so grateful you're taking time to visit my space on the internet and hope you'll return.

I've been joining in the Just Write carnival hosted by Heather of the Extraordinary Ordinary fairly consistently. It is really opening up a new way of writing for me and I'm hoping to grow this side of me more. One of my favorite posts from this exercise is The In Between.

Next I want to lead you to a post I wrote about a dream coming true. You see, I am a die-hard baseball fan. A Texas Rangers fan to be specific. (If you follow me on Twitter you're sure to be annoyed by my sports tweets at some point over the coming baseball season.) My love of baseball started young when I just wanted to hang out with my dad. In 2010 I got to take him to see the Rangers in the World Series! Something I never thought would happen. You can read all about it here.

Finally, I've been writing my own little series about life with six kids. I am still sometimes surprised by my life so I thought I would share some things about our family and how we make it work.  I've written about marriage, going out in public, driving a giant (no, really, 15-passenger!) van, and feeding all of us.

I've also updated my About page, so hopefully you'll feel like you "know" me from reading. Of course, hopefully we already met in person at Blissdom!

What It Is Like: Mom Goes Out of Town

I'm here at the Gaylord Opryland getting my Bliss on as I type. Naturally I couldn't sleep in, even though I didn't have to be anywhere until 9:00, but it is still nice to have a slow morning. This week I'm writing about what it is like when I am gone for a few days. Next week Travis is going to give us his perspective, which is sure to be entertaining. (By the time I came back and finished this post and edited it was almost 11:00 p.m.!)

Back when I booked this trip, I had no idea how busy our schedule would be this weekend. We have basketball ending and baseball, volleyball, and soccer starting at the same time. Also, Travis has a retreat meeting for three hours on Saturday morning. Coordinating childcare and making sure we missed the fewest events possible was my main order of business before I left. So, I arranged sitters and talked to coaches and made a plan. When I leave (Travis and I have both been doing retreats for years) I always leave detailed notes for Travis. Not because he is not capable, at all, but because I know it is easier for him if I give him notes. I list out times to be places for any unusual events, including suggestions to make it easier--such as what time to start getting ready so they're not rushed, or what a particular child (for the young ones) might need to make things so smoothly. I think that whoever is the stay-home parent, or the parent with primary responsibility for the kids and their schedules, just automatically knows some things, but we forget that our spouse might not know those things. Travis likes the notes and I like knowing I've done something to make things a little easier.

My family also has to eat. Happily, Travis likes to cook and is great in the kitchen so I didn't have to make meals in advance. I bought the ingredients for spaghetti for one night, pork chops for another, and then left them on their own for one night. This builds in a break for Travis to grab cheese pizza or something and the kids like the treat of going out or getting take out. A win for everyone!

Ideally, when I leave, I have cleaned and organized the house. Travis does not expect this of me, but I know that it makes life easier for him if things are neat and clean. So you might find me frantically cleaning bathrooms and doing laundry when I should be packing and getting myself ready. This week I got the bathrooms clean and our room straightened, so not as much as I would have liked, but better than chaos. I feel like it is courteous to my family to try to leave things nice since they are all at home while I'm off having fun.

When I am gone on a trip I am absolutely comfortable leaving the kids and Travis. I don't mean to imply that I don't miss them or value them, just that I treasure time to myself and I know it restores my spirit. It is good for Travis to get time with the kids, doing the day-to-day (so happy I don't have to help with homework!) and remembering what I do every day (not that I'm awesome or anything, and he is always appreciative). I don't worry that things will fall apart. I don't care if the house is clean when I come home, although Travis is usually great about having it ordered. Travis is so good with the kids and he knows what he's doing. People sometimes imagine him completely overwhelmed when I'm not there, but he's a dad and he's been doing this right alongside me all this time.

So what it is like when I'm gone is refreshing for me and good for my family. We work together to get things in order before I leave so that I can relax knowing everyone at home is having fun and not missing me too much. I can't wait to see what Travis says about what it is like at home when I'm gone though!